


A Bard's Tale: (>1 | 2 | 3)

by Ringtail



Category: None - Fandom
Genre: Adventure, Bad Decisions, Introspection, Multi, Romance, Self-Discovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-11-16
Packaged: 2021-01-31 07:30:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 33,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21442498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ringtail/pseuds/Ringtail
Summary: 'Life sucks and then you die, but doesn't it make it worth it when you get to be happy?' - Gage Gauner, age 11There was always another battle to fight, although Gage's fight was never with an antagonist. No, the twenty-six years Gage had seen on Earth were some of the unluckiest ever witnessed by mankind. However, even as life broke him down in the most literal sense, Gage never once thought to end it. All it took was one more accident for his story to come to a close, even after he'd survived so many others. Below the bottom of the Golden Gate Strait awaits a land where people walk freely without charter, where Minotaurs and Naga are daily dealings, and where Adolph Hitler is a respected artist with an ear for any fretful soul.Join Gage as he journeys across Septural to find a place for himself amongst the madness





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A Bard's Tale is in no way connected to A Thief's Tale, I just like the naming convetion.

It’s not like I was… No, that sucks. Let me start over.

Life is hard when you don’t know what you’re good at. However, I considered myself good at a lot of things in life, such as breaking bones, dying like that time at birth, and generally being nice. _ Cordial, _ one might say if they were trying to sound fancy. I’m also good at making lists and shrugging things off. Point being that I… Uh…

_ Maaan, _ why are journals so hard? Not good at this shit either, apparently. Sad, but not surprising. Being direct is key when you’re trying to get a point across (Or something like that. Rhetoric 101 was often skipped.), so let me just spit it out instead of candy-coating it: I’ve got bad luck, my skills in general suck and I don’t have a third word that isn’t the F-word, so…

How many times am I gonna have to start over?

Journal in_ Three… Two… _ Wait, what if I try _ talking to you? _ Hm… I dub thee Journal, also known as J-Man, Je’Amournal, and ‘Booksy’. I like Booksy, personally. Let’s give this another go if you don’t mind…? Silence means you don’t care, I think. Carrying on now.

From literally my earliest age I've had some pretty bad luck. Mom never quit smoking when she was pregnant with me, so I was born pretty early and was a quite bit under average weight and size in general. To make things more apt for what would come later, I was born with a caul covering my face that suffocated me during birth. One could say that my biggest stroke of luck was being revived and getting to live a pretty full life, but another could also laugh and ask if the other was a prick. I personally considered it a good thing because I eventually learned to laugh everything off if I wasn’t close to dying. I mean, if baby me could ‘chill out for years’ according to my parents, _ after dying _ , then a few broken bones and fractured toes here and there wouldn’t be the end of the world. Not to say I was smiling while swearing my head off each of the thirty-six times I’ve broken something, or the fifty-one times I fractured something or other out of pure clumsiness.   
  
Yes, while you’re thinking it, my insurance company dropped me a few weeks before the Big Wang Event Something in the universe aligned then to screw me over, but it’s not like I was terribly bitter about it. Life was rough and that was _ okay _ , which was something even my _ parents _didn’t get. It’s like everyone thinks that just you have bad luck you have to be super depressed all the time, but honestly, I just learned to take pleasure in the little things. People asked me all the time how I wasn’t chronically depressed or terrified of the world around me and I just had to chuckle at the way they phrased some of the myriads of questions. It’s like some people just haven’t heard of a sunny disposition or something. I just didn’t let much get to me in the long run. The short term? Less success in that field. Yeah, I’d already had surgery on my shoulder and leg before I hit high school because of being clumsy, but I healed up and got back to tip-top-ship-shape for a pretty good while. The thing was to just let the water flow under the bridge and get over it because what could I really do about it? I’d tried being generally more careful, but I spent half my time in my head, just thinking of impossible things that made me smile. Writing it down, I think the cause was the cure in that particular scenario.

I’m sure you get it by now, Journal, that I don’t mind life-sucking. I _ thrive _ in suck. I’d make an analogy, but my mind’s in the stable and I’m not referencing hay, so I’ll say I do best in the muck. Losing all my teeth to getting beamed in the mouth with a baseball was… Well, I kinda let that one get to me along with the ‘Gum Gum Gauner’ thing, but like everything else, there’ll be a time to laugh at that too. Right now is a time to reflect, so I guess I’m just trying to explain to you (J-Man) and myself why I jumped off that bridge, and it wasn’t because I had dentures at eighteen. I mean, I _ get sad _. Who in the world doesn’t? Looking back on it, I can’t really laugh because I can’t take it back and I really don’t understand the frame of mind I was in when I did it, but… Well...

To explain, I’d bounced from job to job after getting my G.E.D, working just about every menial labor position in ‘Frisco before landing a decent job as an accountant. Apparently, I actually was good at keeping numbers in my head, so I didn’t do poorly with most tasks presented to me. My boss was willing to work with my weak points and most of my coworkers were friendly, if not a little chilly whenever I messed something up. The commute to work was hell and getting home was no better, but I loved where I lived and I enjoyed being there with the love of my life, Rachel Kivette. Raven-haired, stormy-gray eyes and a figure to match her attitude; I’d never thought I’d actually land a girlfriend, let alone one that actually enjoyed being around me and understood what I _ really _ meant to say. There’s not a lying bone in my body, so I can’t say it was all milk and honey with Raven and I, but I thought the more you suffered the more you showed really cared. I took some solid whoopings from Raven because I thought it would keep her around. Let her say whatever she wanted to me in private while keeping up appearances in public. Right before she divorced with me for something(s) or other(s) (Shows how much I actually cared, I guess.), she did sleep with one of my friends, so _ Self Esteem _was on repeat while I trekked my way to the Golden Gate Bridge.

In retrospect, I just don’t see why it got to me that badly. I mean, if my wife was abusive, why would it be above her to cheat? I honestly should’ve expected it, but I never thought I would overreact _ so hard! _ Like _ geez _ , when would I ever get that irration- Wait. Yeah, having my wife divorce me for a trusted friend after putting up with her crap for a year? Doing everything she told me to and still getting screwed out of everything I had? Life in general not really giving me a handout that I’d ever noticed as it did with other, worse people? I’m kinda starting to see it, but still. Wouldn’t most people go see a psychiatrist or something instead of just going straight to _ ‘Hmm… The suislide seems like a fun ride!’ _ ? I skipped through the part where I walked to the bridge because I barely remember it at the moment. Everything felt like a dream, but it wasn’t quite the same vibe. Everything felt heavy and immovable during the walk to the bridge, though I do remember that it was a very musical, very reflective journey. I basically let everything that had ever happened to me cloud my mind; fuck up after fuck up just wouldn’t get out of my head. It was like I was watching a lowlight reel of my life where every little mistake was given its own little showcase, and that was just _ brutal. _ I got by pretty well by just not thinking about my bad luck, but then again, I think that ignoring my problems for so long may have been what pushed me off that bridge in the first place

Getting up on the side and past the fence took a little doing, but once I’d gotten past everyone who was trying to stop me and set myself to jump, I started having second thoughts. They didn’t convince me not to jump. The fall was… Well, _ that _didn’t feel like a dream. The red paint of the Golden Gate Bridge was clear in my mind, so glaringly distracting to my eyes that I actually slipped when I jumped and ended up plummeting toward the water below back-first with no way to flip myself. Staring at the bridge as I fell was beyond real: easily one of the most lucid moments of my life. Being weightless during the application of gravity to my doom was another thing that I remembered, but it wasn’t as if the sensation of flying was unwelcome. The experience was calming in its own mildly worrying way’, with resignation and acceptance taking over the panic in my heart as the wind buffeted my ears. There was nothing holding me up anymore.. Not Rachel, not myself, not my parents, and officially not the world. For once in my life, I was completely and utterly on my own. The dark, cloudless night above me with a beautiful landmark hovering below the starless sky held the life that I was rapidly falling away from. For some odd reason, I thought that the distance between me and the bridge was like distancing myself from the pain I’d felt, but when I landed, it wasn’t on the water so much as far, far beneath it.

I fell like a gold needle into the river, sinking beneath the waves without a splash or any pomp or circumstance. It wasn’t as though I couldn’t breathe under the water, which in and of itself was weird. No, as I fell deeper and deeper into the icy darkness, I contemplated my life and wondered where I could have gone right. Considered what I could have done to make Rachel love me. Postulated upon how the fuck exactly I’d gotten my G.E.D and why I went to community college shortly thereafter. I didn’t feel like there were any better choices I could have made most of the time since I was just trying to do the best I could anyway, convinced myself that Rachel never actually loved me in the first place, and figured I probably went to college to make myself less worthless. I didn’t succeed with the last one, apparently, but at least I learned some nice, pretty words to describe my feelings.

Sinking further and further beneath the water eventually brought me a kind of warmth that I’d last felt when my Mom was still in her right mind, even if I didn’t really feel it in the moment. I was always close to my parents throughout my life, even when I moved from Oregon down to Cali for work and wanderlust. Alzheimer’s got Mom pretty bad, so memories of her from when she would still hug me and kiss my cheek without that look on her face like she was meeting someone she liked for the first time… It was nice. It was more than just nice to think of the times when Mom and Dad would play with me when I was young, or when the old man would cut time out of his schedule to just spend a few more hours with me. Memories that I actually wanted kept surfacing the deeper I fell into the river, including the morning I’d woken up to accepting that I was bisexual, the day I found Rachel, my wedding day, graduating with my G.E.D, and a few other things that made the coldness of the water fade into a warm, loving feeling. The bittersweetness of it filled me with so much regret that I thought my heart was about to rip itself out of my chest so it could ‘beat’ my face until it was a bloody, mostly undamaged mess. I say the last part because hearts aren’t exactly made out of bone, but that’s not the point. The thing is that I was riding one helluva emotional roller-coaster and the twists and turns had just finally slowed down when I hit the riverbed.

I lay in place, the silence of the situation rained down through the river to impact my inner being. My newfound loneliness resonating in my flesh, eating away at the blood in my veins until the warmth faded into a different kind of cold. In my place, I couldn’t move, could hardly think straight, and still breathed easily without issue, so I considered myself a little lucky and a lottle sad. After all, I’d evidently screwed up my first suicide attempt and was apparently alive for some good old-fashioned spaghetti-regretti, or whatever it is that Rachel’s little brother used to say. My palms weren’t sweaty, I couldn’t feel my knees or arms in all honesty, and Mom hated Italian, so it was more like ‘Body’s numb, eyes weak, thoughts are dumb. Chicken in the wok, spillin’ muh yum-yum’ than _ Lose Yourself _.

Before the self-pity could set it, I got a grip on myself in a way that didn’t make much sense to me and I started laughing underwater, no bubbles coming up from my raucous, joyous guffawing. I found it hilarious that I was still alive after jumping off of the nicest bridge in the West, and it was also funny that I’d escaped from harm nearly unscathed. Things had gone a little pear-shaped, yes, but I would be willing to call life downright callipygean since I was now a _ merman _ . I giggled about that little tidbit until I felt the riverbed under my back, as gross as it felt, start giving way as if an ambush predator had forgotten to eat me as I’d drifted down to it’s hiding spot. I hoped that dying for real this time wouldn’t hurt, and I wasn’t terribly worried about living my life all over again since I’d already _ done it _ , but _ lo’ and behold, _ t’was time for yet another re-examination of the Life and Times of Gum Gum Gauner.   
  
The new recollection of my life went over the good and bad things I did, whether I did the crap with purpose or if I did it by way of an accident; every little endeavor was laid bare to me and I saw _ so many mistakes. _It wasn’t as if I’d ever gone out to cause someone harm because that just wasn’t in my nature, and apparently, I was rewarded for it since I didn’t have to go over and relive the times I’d broken something. However, I did have to go through each and every little time my good intentions had laid another shattered glass block on the road to Hell. Seriously, after every memory it was like I was laying a brick into a path, each event making the new journey either more painful or just another step in the road. It took me a good long while to realize that there really weren’t any points where I had gotten explosively or terribly angry at all, which struck me as odd.

It also got noticed by the guy who was sitting next to me at the bottom of the Golden Gate Strait, but he waited until the end to say anything which was very polite of him if I may say so myself. Once I was done reviewing my life again, the guy asked, “You seem pretty relaxed. Laid-back, I guess..l. So does everything you do turn to shit, or is it just the stuff you try to do well?”

I thought a little irritably at him since I couldn’t speak underwater. ‘_ Geez, who is this guy? You’d think he’d be a little nicer to someone who just killed themselves.’ _

Apparently, he heard my thoughts because the English penis laughed. “You overreacted and jumped off a bridge. Thousands of people do it every day, mate.”

_ ‘Instead of laughing, why don’t you tell me why I’m not dead?’ _ I thought at him some more, trying to match the voice in my head to his.

I couldn't’ see anything in the inky darkness, but I could practically feel his annoyance just like I could feel his arrival in the first place. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, we’ll get to that in a sec. I just wanna ask; How have you not done this sooner? I mean, you mortal chavs are all about killing yourselves over dumb shit and you’ve done a lot of dumb shit. What’s the deal?”

‘_ Well it’s not like we all just up and kill ourselves, man.’ _

“That’s a fair point, but why did _ you _do it?”

‘_ Because I was hurt and dumb… _’

“So you made a mistake?”

_ ‘Add it to the list, my guy. _ ’   
  


“Want another chance?” he asked casually as if he were offering me a beer.

‘_ ... Yeah, but no at the same time. I just know I’m going to fuck everything up again, man. _’

“Take the risk and figure it out, mate. You’ve got a decent head on your shoulders for trauma and weirdness. I mean, you’re taking this whole thing better than most.”

_ ‘You mean dying but not being dead? _’

“Yeah, basically.”

‘_ Ah. Thanks, guy. _’

“I just said the truth.” I felt the water shift and start to warm up, the sinking feeling intensifying as he spoke. ‘Are you really not curious about this whole thing?”

_ ‘I really am though. Mind telling me what’s going on?’ _

“You were born with one luck.”

‘

‘_ The bad kind? _’

“No, mate, not one _ type _ of luck, I mean _ one lucky break _. Getting revived at birth ate up all your lifetime luck, Gauner.”

_ ‘That… That really sucks. _’

“So did your life, but you still spent a lot of your time being like, _ reasonably _happy, right?”

_ ‘That’s a fair point. So what’s going on now? I’m pretty sure you’re not here to see the sights, _ ’ I answered interestedly. The baritone of the fellow’s voice was pleasant to hear, and I liked the English accent anyway, so continuing the conversation seemed like a good thing to do for the time being. I also just like hearing people talk sometimes. Sue me, _ Booksy. _

“What’s going on now is that you’re going to pick a skill, an art, and a book you’ve read. I’ll give you all three, plus a little present for being so cool about all this since not many of you carbonated lifeforms or whatever don’t freak about not drowning. Seriously, you haven’t even cried or begged for release or anything!”

I couldn’t help but laugh at that. _ ‘Man, I didn’t wanna die in the first place. Not really. I don’t mind being dead, but it sounds like you’re about to give me another go at things.’ _

“You sound excited,” he chuckled.

_ ‘Am I going to be skilled at my skill and artful with my art?’ _

“Yeah, I suppose. Why do you ask?”

‘_ ... It sounds really lame to say, but I can’t actually name something I can do very well. I don’t have any skills, can’t do the art, and I’m only good at healing. Hell, the only reason I still had my job before my wang dragged me off the bridge-’ _

_ “ _Shut up!” He chuckled.

“_ Anyway, I’m not that good at my job either. I just suck at everything in varying degress, honestly.” _

“Oh. Right. Luckless.”

‘_ That’d be a good nickname- _ ’ I started sinking faster and further. _ ‘HEY! Help!’ _

I felt a hand on my chest that pushed me down deeper into the mucky bottom. “Relax and let me speed this up for you. I’d just let it go as it usually does, but I’m really starting to like you, mate. You’re cool as the bottom of a river.”

I couldn’t flounder and since it was supposed to be happening, I killed my panic and thought, ‘_ Oh. Well, if this is how it’s supposed to be, then you could’ve said something.’ _

“Yeah, I do this a lot so it kinda gets old, y’know? Warn people and they panic. Don’t warn people _ and they panic _. It’s just old, mate.”

_ ‘Well, I was trying to get old, but then I died to life.’’ _

“Ha! Good one, Lucky.”

‘_ Thanks, Pippington. _’

“I know you did _ not _just call me ‘Pippington’!” He laughed loudly.

‘_ You’ve got a nick for me, why not have one for you? _’

“Point Lucky. Speaking of points, what do you want to be-”

_ ‘Music! I wanna be good at making music! _’

“... You wanna be a musician?”

_ ‘I want to be a _ _ good _ _ musician. _’

“... I guess I could search through my files and check out some of the instrument folders, but that’s more of an art than a skill.”

‘_ What about being skilled with the gift of gab? Music for the art and charisma for the skill? _’ Like I said, hearing people talk was something I enjoyed, and if you could convince someone to chat, then that was just as good.

“Damn, you understand this a lot better than most people.”

‘_ It feels like the set-up to an Isekai mango, to be honest with you. _’

“I can’t pretend like I know what that is, but if it speeds up the process then by all means.”

‘_ Anything to make someone else’s life easier, my man. Is there anything else?’ _I was beneath the muddy surface of the riverbed at this point, coated in slime and grime.

“Book?”

‘_ Uh… Gone With the Wind?’ _

“... Seriously?”

‘_ Well, what do you recommend? _ ’   
  
“Nothing. It’s not really my place to tell you what to read, but whatevs. You’ll get your book eventually. So you want to be charismatic, play some music and stuff, and read _ Gone With the Wind? _”

‘_ Yeah, I guess. _’

“And I still need to find a super-power for you, so I’ll get on that. It might take a couple of days, and you probably won’t remember much of this conversation anyway but it’s been nice talking to you, Lucky.”

‘_ Fucker, did you just say super-power and gloss over it?’ _

“Toodle-oo, Lucky-doo.”

‘_ What? _’ I thought, the darkness giving me no indication as to what he was doing.

I had been coated in the muck before, but now I was covered in filth _ and co _ nfused. That didn’t even begin to _ approach _ the fact that it felt like all the metal in my body was being microwaved with snaps, cracks, and pops of pain surfacing every now and again, making me more than just a little uncomfortable. It wasn’t debilitating, but it did make me wish I had some _ Advil _ on hand to swallow my aches away. However, they stopped altogether as quickly as they started, lingering aches being a thing of the past as I felt myself start rising from the silt. It was gross; kinda like being born all over again, but colder and muddier. I don’t exactly

remember being born, but you get the idea, right Journal? Anyway, Once I cleared the silt I felt that I could move again, so I popped all of my super-stiff joints underwater and looked around. I couldn’t see anything, so I filled my lungs with air (Somehow) and let myself get righted so I could start floating back toward the surface of the strait. However, after about twenty seconds, I realized that my lungs hurt and I couldn’t breathe underwater anymore, making me panic and start clawing my way to the surface. Stroke after stroke carried me closer to my goal, my lungs screaming for less watery oxygen. The river lightened the further I went, the harder I pushed myself, but swimming had never been my strong suit after I’d broken both legs. In the panic I dealt with while I was struggling to get to the surface, I expended everything I had. There weren’t any real thoughts going through my head other than ‘_ Breathe!!!’ _ and a slew of swear words so creative I forget how that particular, newly christened song went, but the last thing that went through my mind as I fought my way to the surface was ‘ _ Fuck... I’m not gonna make it. _’

I passed out before I ever did, which lead me to drowning. Drowning was _ not _fun.

Having died twice in the past three hours made me feel like a jackass beyond all donkey butts, so imagine my surprise (And annoyance) when I spat up lungfuls of water and threw up silt after being revived. _ Again. _The grass beneath me was slick, soaked with the water that was still sluicing off of my clothes in rivulets, dripping out of my hair as I tried to get the taste of river dirt out of my mouth. With my luck, I figured that I’d probably earned myself a spoonful of dysentery or something, but when I thought about the grass I was on I paused. There weren’t many grassy patches along the way the Golden Gate Strait flowed unless I had wound up in the park or something. Even then I didn’t get why I wasn’t dead, so after scraping dirt off of my tongue, I actually listened to the person who’d revived me for the first time since I’d been brought back to life, aching sternum and all.

Coughing up the lungs I’d just emptied didn’t actually happen, but it felt like it did. The warm, gentle sun radiated its kindness to my frigid flesh, which was much appreciated. Once I warmed up a bit, I heard someone say something in a very odd language. It sounded like a bastard mix of Greek and Hebrew, which I only knew because I took a trip to Greece (Story for another time) and spent a lot of time around the Orthodox church there because where better to learn about your Jewish heritage than Greece? That was sarcasm, Journal. I know you’re a book, but I think you should know when I’m not being serious.

Anyway, the confusing language threw me through a loop since I only knew Hebrew from school and my Grandpa, so I only got a couple of the words they’d said. I knew a pretty respectable portion of my ancestors’ language, but ‘River Person… Fire… Mud Demon’ made little sense to me unless I was about to be burned alive for being dirty. I had to clear some more dirt and mud from my eyes, but when I did that and managed to get a real breath of fresh air I looked around and saw no one nearby. I had to fully sit up and look behind me to spot my savior, and despite my recent heartbreak, I could feel the buds of infatuation blooming all over again for _ both _ people I saw. The man was a _ man _, and I mean that in the best of ways. He was lean, but still well built, and his chiseled, Roman jawline gave him the appearance of a brooding father contemplating his next best move for his family. The grays in his hair and beard told me that he was experienced, tickling my thing for older men in just the right way though it was his choice of clothes that struck me as odd.

They were unlike anything I’d seen in person, and I don’t mean that his fashion sense was good or bad. It was just that his clothing was so unfamiliar that I was a little taken aback. His shirt had slits on the side and a small ‘V’ in on the torso in front of his sculpted throat, just a couple of ashy black and gray hairs popping out of the breach. His shorts were khaki of some kind, which contrasted from the tunic-looking thing he was wearing. To my knowledge, people who wore tunics didn't wear _ cargo shorts _ , but even then I wasn’t sure what the fuck I was seeing. Everything from his hairstyle to his choice of footwear was a little off from what my norm was, but _ he _ was the normal one out of the two. The woman that was with him?   
  
Don’t get me wrong; a rugged manly-man gets my motor running all the same, but I always did lean towards women, and the woman’s white mane and blue lipstick? _ Right up my alley. _ Why her hair was white I didn’t know, but I was _ well aware _ of the fact that it made her look like an ice queen, despite the warmth in her features and the laugh-lines on her cheeks. The woman had a rounded face whereas her companion was all sharp lines and stoicism, her countenance giving me the general feeling that she was just a bit older than me. The man seemed to be a decade my senior at least, but the woman was young enough to have probably gone to school with me. That being said, I don’t know how her leather shorts, hairy legs, and absolutely _ bananas _ ‘top’ would go over in a social place like Fleetwood High. I figured that I’d just gotten picked up by some weirdos that lived in the woods, or maybe I’d come across some kindly Jewish hippies that didn’t know that drug-rugs were in this season. At least, I’d thought they were hippies until I saw the sword laying by the woman and the odd, Steampunk-ish gun in the man’s hands. The more I looked at their weapons, the closer I came to being sure that the man’s gun was clockwork and that the woman’s sword had some kind of mechanism to it.

After I’d been staring at the beautiful people for some time, the man saw that I was looking and pointed at me, laying his hand on his companion’s shoulder. The woman gave me like, three seconds of her attention before she hit the guy and got up from where she was sitting. I waved and she stopped, so I got up and started backing away. There was a rock in my backward path, so I fell over that because why wouldn’t I? Laughter was quickly silenced and I heard feet rapidly approaching me as I set myself up. The man trailed a bit behind the woman when she came to help me, speaking her odd language. I made out ‘klutz’, ‘funny’, and ‘sorry’ out of what she said, so I replied with something along the lines of ‘I am clumsy, I yogurt waffle walk good.’, which made her laugh some more and ask something. I didn’t know the exact question, but I_ did _hear the undertone in her voice, so I shrugged and answered in plain English.

“Miss, I have no idea what you just said.”

Her brows raised. “You are not no-shell Kappa? Not Demon?” 

The accent to her words was strange to hear since it was like a combination of French and some South Asian mix that wasn’t… _ influenced _, would be a good word I think. It’s like she’d been born with the accent rather than learning multiple languages as I would normally assume, but that mixed with the language she’d been speaking before made no sense. “... Miss, you’re talking over my head. Name’s Gage Gauner.” I extended a muddy hand before wiping it off on the grass and offering it again.

She tilted her head. “Names?”

“Yeah, I’m Gage. Gage Gauner.” I looked her in the eye. 

They weren’t contacts. I knew that much. Colored contacts had a certain vibrancy to them. The lady’s eyes were amber, didn’t have the opacity that colored contacts carried, and they had a slight glow to them in the darkening light. I didn’t know if the sun was reflecting off of them strangely or if I was imagining things, but she definitely wasn’t normal. “You are Gage Gauner?”

“Yes, I am,” I repeated, nodding slowly. “[My Hebrew name was Gatian].”

She seemed to have no idea what I was talking about. “You are funny man, Gatian Gage. What Hebrew is?”

“Uh… Evidently not what you speak…” I replied, my heart thudding in my chest. A hatred for The Queen started bubbling up in my chest and I wondered why British people always had to be evil or magical, because I was looking at two options; I was either going completely and utterly insane, I was dead, or I was on drugs. That’s three options, but I didn’t really consider drugs to be one of the likely ones.

Being insane didn’t seem too bad if what I was experiencing was it, I might’ve been dead which again wasn’t too bad at the moment, and I didn’t really like drugs, so I scratched that one out seeing as how my worst experiment was alcohol and I didn’t even like the taste of that. I might’ve been a pack a day smoker, but for some odd reason, I had a feeling that there weren’t any gas stations nearby. The longer I looked between the guy and gal that saved my sorry butt from the river the more certain I was that Kansas was a distant memory. Especially since I had _ no _clue how natural the white-haired lady’s ‘do was. In a few seconds of confusion, I worked out the most logical conclusion I could from the evidence I had; The British guy saved me from dying on impact and/or drowning, lived up to his word, forgot to erase my memory, and threw me up on the bottom of some other river. It made sense in a completely bullshit, beginning of a kid-com kinda way. 

Seeing as how the lady had a modest bust and few other endowments other than being super adorable, uwu-wat’s-dis levels of cute, I doubted that I’d made my way into an anime. Being reminded of anime made me cognizant of the fact that I was supposed to be good at something or other, so that made me smile. The grin was received with an odd look from the lady. “Why smile now? Something funny?”

“Do you have an instrument?”

“I do not know that word.”

“And I don’t know your language too terribly good, so there’s that.” My mood deflated like a three-day-old balloon. It still had helium, but it was a little squishier now. 

She gave me a sad smile. “You die too?”

That one took me by surprise. “... Yeah? How’d you know?”

“People come from river. [River of Rebirth]. Many of them come of sad, many not leave. You seem like you leave, we go to town.” The lady held her index and pinkie finger out, smiling at me. It was like a peace-sign but cuter in a way.

“... Why people no leave? Er, I mean, why don’t people leave?”

“Some people sad. Sad hard when fail…” She tilted her head and tapped her cleft chin, making a popping noise with her lips for a few seconds. The loudest pop signaled the end of her brainstorming session along with the bouncing of her braids. “Deaf. Yes, sad when no deaf they seek, so they ask deaf of us. Watchers. [Peace Seekers]. We give peace to sad people so they have rest.” Her enunciation was very careful, but even then her accent was incredibly thick. It was also a far sight from hard on the ol’ drums though still difficult to understand.

I still got the point. “... You kill people who are too sad that they got a second chance?”

The man snorted. “Leos Common isn’t that bad, fool.” His accent was also thicker than a tungsten cinder-block, but it was clearer than ‘Lei-o’s’, as he’d pronounced it. When he spoke, I got a more French-Japanese vibe from his lilt.

“Your ‘Common’ sounds a little better, yeah,” I replied, giving him a sheepish smile.

The glare in his silver eyes was enough to make me look back to Leos. She rolled her amber orbs at my terrified expression, patting my shoulder. “He kills in sun. Valen guides in sun. There is sun now.”

“Valen? And guiding to where? “I asked, avoiding the scary man and his hyper-intense eye-contact.

“Me Valen,” ‘Leos’ said. _ Apparently, _ I’d gotten her name wrong. “Me, Valen, guide you to town.”

“Oh. Okay. That sounds normal,” I said, the lack of normalcy evident in the situation to me.

Valen nodded and beamed. “I am happy you are not sad to deaf! We go before Kaish guides you, yes?”

I almost pointed at the aging man. _ Almost _. “You mean your partner over there?”

“Yes.”

“... If I don’t go-”

“Oh, no! He guides at night, kill at day. I guide at day, kill at night. I talk more and I am nice. Kaish is schmuck.”

The temptation to chuckle at that was bisected when the guy in question said, “Killing is easier.”

Valen cut him a dull look. “[Lazy Donkey].”

He cracked a smile and rolled his eyes. His next words were evidently only meant for his partner in ‘peace’ since he didn’t say it in Common, leaving us to go wander into the forest. Valen and I watched him walk for a bit before she grabbed my hand and started leading me in the opposite direction, saying that I was dirty and smelly. I believed her to the fullest. When she suggested that I wash up in what sounded like a holy site, getting clean in the river felt a little ironic. After I got out I felt a lot better for the tepid bath. Valen was happy to dip her toes in the water with an eye on the sun as it took its sweet time in getting lower while I cleaned myself. It’d been a bit since I’d first gotten my bearings, meaning that the realization that everything I’d ever known was long gone and far behind me. While I was casually rinsing pebbles out of my already messy hair, it just hit me like a freight truck out of _ nowhere. _ I went from wishing I had shampoo to wondering if there was even shampoo on the planet to straight-up _ despair. _ It knocked the wind out of my lungs and sent me to my knees long enough for Valen to come and shake me out of a stupor.

“Gatian Gage? Are you sad now?” she asked mournfully. “Please not sad now. You were well!”

I wanted to smile at that because she was just really cute for being nearly as tall as me. Forcing yourself to smile releases endorphins in your brain, which is a trick I learned long ago. Implementing it at the moment got me off of my knees with a little help from Valen. “I don’t think I’m ever going to stop being sad about this one, Val. [This sorrow hurts deep]. But I’m okay, right?” I smiled a little wider. “Life’s about making it through the next step with your head as high as you can get it, isn’t it?”

My words garnered another strange gesture from Valen. “You are not sad now! Not be sad. You are clean, so now be happy and we go, yes?”

“Yeah sure, let’s go.”

She nodded twice and grabbed my right hand, hooking one of her fingers into the band of my watch as he started dragging me out of the river and on to the bank. After a quick shake and jitter to dry myself and my clothes off, we set course for a town named ‘Rusval’. Valen wouldn’t say anything about it, but she was all too happy to tell me every minute iota of detail about the forest as we got started on the next portion of my journey.

… Hmm… I think I’ll stop here. My hand’s getting pretty tired and I kinda wanna read over what I have down. No, Journal, I’m not _ ogling _ you. Don’t make it weird, dude. Thanks for listening though, this has been some great therapy. Or thanks for letting me write on you…?   
  
I’m gonna need some practice at this whole ‘journaling’ thing.


	2. Chapter Two: So-So

So-So

“So, uh… How many people come through the river?” I asked tentatively, the sun finally starting to sink while Valen led me to town.

“Oh, plenty people come from the river, but few people not deaf after. The town full of people like you!” She turned and gave me a bright smile, the vivid light of the sunset cutting through the trees, seemingly setting her hair ablaze.

I couldn’t stop my heart from throbbing; I’d always been a hopeless romantic. “Uh… Yeah, right. Hey Val-”

“You are a very friendly man, Gatian Gage. Very kind with your word. Words. Wors?”

“Words, but yeah. I try to be nice to people in general.”

She smiled back at me again. “Be careful with words from now, okay Gatian Gage? You kind, but people at whole not kind.”

“Really?”

“Kidding!” Valen giggled. “We day people very pleasant in sun, but we sleep good at moon. When moon, we sad and not nice. When moon people go in sun, they schmucks, but they better in moon.”

“Ah, I have a feeling I’m gonna be a moon guy, honestly.”

“Aww, why you say that!? No, be moon man please!”

“Well, I’m pretty nocturnal- er, I’m more awake when the moon is up.”

She pouted and hunched her shoulders, slowing down a bit. “First River-Man in many daytimes and he Moon Man. Why sad times come now?”

“Hey, Val, don’t get down on yourself. I’m sure we’ll see each other some time.”

“Are you sure about that?”

Her tone was so sorrowful I was almost willing to start groveling, but something hurt inside that made me stop. “... Are you trying to guilt me?”

Valen looked back, frustrated. “Well, [I want a friend]. I don’t know how say that in Common, but you know the words, yes?”

“... I know, but... “

Alarm crossed her face. “No! Gatian Gage, I not mean you must stay! I just wish you stay!”

I gave her a mild smile. “I don’t make many friends either, to be honest with you.”

“... Maybe we friends from length? Friends when meet again?”

I caught up a bit to lay a hand on her shoulder. “Shoot, Val, you already saved my sorry butt from drowning in mud. I already consider you a friend whether you’re near me or not.”

Valen stopped and spun around, giving me a big, warm hug. She laid her head on my shoulder and the familiar ache started up again; the loneliness and longing for companionship. “You are good man, Gatian. You will be good man for this world.”

“Thank you, Valen. I… I honestly appreciate that.” I hugged her back, trying not to let my thoughts get away from me.

She let go and patted my somewhat doughy chest. “We go now, friend. If we not stop by supply place before night, I have to leave and go back to river.”

“Then let’s get going, yeah?” I gave her a smile I could put my heart behind, aching as it was.

Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t exactly desperate for love, but I’d been without Rachel for a couple weeks at that point and dating was never my thing. If it weren’t for Rachel, I’d never have had sex in the first place, and if she didn’t want it, we didn’t have it. I _wanted _Valen as a casual hook-up, but my inner rational guy told my penis to lie down and stop trying to talk for me. I valued my friends where I could make them and I recognized that I was in no way ready for a relationship, but all the same I still clung to the first person who was nice to me like I always had. It was a little more understandable since I was stranded on a strange world with strange people and no idea what was what, but I still found it pathetic that I clung to my lifeline so fiercely without even really knowing her. I’d always idolized the Gary Stu’s in stories that everyone liked and no one could beat, but there was no way in hell that ‘Gum Gum Gauner’ was going to climb the social ladder like that.

I started sucking on my teeth as Valen and I fell silent, the mood ruined for me on our walk. It took me quite a while to notice (Or to even think of it), but my teeth felt a lot more ‘in place’ than they usually did. Chomping down a couple times and grinding them taught me something interesting; I had all my natural teeth back and they were in perfect condition, minus a cavity on one of my canines. It was an odd thing to be sure, but I couldn’t really complain since it meant I didn’t have to use pine sap or some shit to make my dentures stay in place. After that I took stock of the rest of my body and found that I was mostly okay and that even my aches from earlier were being worked out. I couldn’t feel the tendonitis in my knees or the arthritis in my fingers. There was also no noticeable pain in my back or neck, which had plagued me for a decade or so prior. I was in ship-shape for some odd reason that I attributed to the guy I’m calling The Brit. He must’ve taken a real shine to me if he’d cleared me of so many medical maladies, leaving me more than just grateful for his kindness. It’s always been my thing to pay someone pack as soon as possible and with more than what they gave me, but having a second chance at life kinda topped all of that. Maybe I’d make the guy a sweater?

After sharing my revelations and good news with Valen, she let me know that she was going to have to leave me at the supply depot and trade places with Kaish soon enough. It wasn’t an attractive prospect, but I understood that being on the killing floor for so long tends to turn people into worse Humans than they were before. Once we got to the depot and I managed to get a good look at it I was sure and certain that whoever had built the bunker-looking place was completely and utterly out of their minds. The walls bowed outward as if they were about to collapse at any moment, seemingly made of some kind of woody-plastic material. There seemed to be grain in the siding, but it also had a plastic-like sheen to it that told me that I wasn’t looking at something from a tree. The windows in the place were also curved to fit the walls, and the roof on top of the structure was something else entirely. I liked architecture well enough to be into some of the crazier things that people came up with, but I could _never _get drunk enough to actually understand how the building was still held up, four walls be damned. Even as I examined the moss and lichens covering the lower parts of the wall, I had no idea what to expect from that point forward. Anything I’d previously thought of was seven seas away in a dinghy under the water near the bottom of an ocean.

Valen led the way inside with a spring to her step and a bounce to a certain part of her anatomy that I scolded myself for looking at on a friend. My thoughts were trailing further and further off the road I wanted them on and seemed to be playing in the dirty, leaf-ridden gutters that they had no business being in. Between Kaish and Valen, I was in a small amount of discomfort that I hid well, as far as I knew. Val didn’t seem to notice any of the times I snuck a glance against my better judgement while she was rifling through bins and cabinets to put together a proper pack for me. Food, a knife, a shortbow, and a few other camping/hunting essentials went into the bag, but then Val stopped out of nowhere and caught me looking at her bottom while she was bent over. The look on her face worried me more than it probably should have, but considering that I was alone in the forest with a woman that had a sword and killed people in the moonlight? Er, at _night?_ Well, maybe my concern was warranted. I was soon to find out since Valen caught me again and actually turned all the way around to look at me.

“Gatian, why you look at me and no look for supply?”

I wasn’t expecting to get off the hook that easily, but I was still on the spot. “... Because I don’t know what I’m looking for? Or how to use half of the stuff your putting in the bag.”

She narrowed her eyes and glanced down, making me glad I’d adjusted myself earlier. “... Sad people get second chance. Some sad people not think about what second chance means.”

I looked down and regretted thinking that the particular avenue I’d had in mind was clear. A step was taken in a backwards direction while my hands covered my privates. “Um... “

Valen eased up. “Keep eyes in friend places, not lover places.”

“Sorry…”

She nodded. “All good, Gatian Gage. Valen was attacked before by River-Woman. She take Valen by surprise. Valen not get surprised again.”

“Hey,” I said, a little offended, “I’m not going to do anything to you I wouldn’t want done to me. I’m sure you have lady parts down there and I don’t, so I can’t do to you what I would want done to me because you don’t have the stuff for it.”

That shocked her a little. “You like men?”

“... And women?”

Valen’s jaw dropped. “Greedy man! You greedy man!”

“Gr-_Greedy?” _I stammered, worried again.

She marched over to me and jammed a finger in my chest. “You not [have sex with] man! You man! You pick now and stick!”

Now _that _was something I couldn’t abide by. “Val, I think you’re overstepping-”

“No, you pick! Not be greedy man!”

I folded my arms and glared at her. “Well, what if I fall in love with a man?”

She threw her arms up. “How you baby-make with man!?”

“Clean the exit zone, duh.”

I wasn’t expecting to get slapped. I was also not expecting Valen to start outright beating me like I peed on her carpet. She didn’t hit hard, but she was obviously frustrated. “Bad Gatian! Bad, bad, bad! Stop think of men and think of girls!”

I shoved her off. “You act like I can just control who I want! It’s not a _choice_, you narrow-minded muff-cheese!”

Valen pointed another finger at me. “No man-love-man allowed in forest! You leave!”

“Wai- _what!?_ Val, I thought we were friends!” My heart broke, but only a small piece fell off. To have made a friend and lost the same one in the same day, let alone because of something I couldn’t help. “Friends don’t abandon each other over stuff like this!”

She shook her head, lip curling and everything. “You leave Valen’s forest. Gatian Gage not welcome here now.”

I couldn’t help the tears in my eyes, but I could stop them from falling. “Fine. Guess I’ll strike it out on my own.”

“You not by self. You carry Demon in you.”

That… Those words hurt more than being straight up rejected by my only friend because I was halfway gay. “... Good luck, Val.”

“_Not call me Val._”

“Yeah, whatever.”

I got going since I never _have _seen the point in staying somewhere I wasn’t wanted. Yeah, the rejection burned after Valen had been so kind to me, but to a point I expected spite in some form from everyone I meet. When you mess up as much as I do, it’s not hard to see where they’re coming from, and when Valen turned me away? The River Man wanted to go back and ask for a little peace, but it’s not like I wanted to die. It just hurt inside and I hated feeling like that. It was such a common thing that I almost just shrugged it off, but something in my gut told me that I should take it to heart and learn from it. No, that didn’t mean that I suddenly thought being bisexual was wrong or some crap like that. It just meant that I was going to hide it from anyone I came across. I mean, I preferred girls anyway since most of them tend to live up to the whole ‘fairer sex’ thing, but that didn’t mean that I was on the look out for a new squeeze, main or not. I’d done a lot better with Rachel in my life, but thinking of her made my heart hurt as I walked and I doubted even further whether or not I needed a new gal so soon.

While I was heading in the same general direction Valen been taking me, I was lost in thought, doing more reflection than I’d done in the past ten years in the past twenty-four hours to help myself get a grip on my emotional state. I basically surmised that I was aching for love, desperate for companionship, and otherwise just a sad, lonely little fuckball. It didn’t help that I probably still counted as a walking doormat. That wasn’t my proudest moment, but the more I thought about the life I had lived before, the more I thought about the life I could live _now_. Sure, Gage Gauner was a timid guy with a taste for both sexes and a tendency to mess everything up, but what if _Gatian_ stepped up to the plate and started putting his best foot forward? Where Gage would have cowered at Valen’s cruel turn, Gatian would swear at her and make her feel bad! Maybe even throw a punch or two! It was invigorating to get myself under control and see a change that I needed to make. Being a meaner guy might actually get me somewhere instead of being a nice, chubby rug like I usually was, so I dropped Gage where he stood and invited Gatian to the party. Gatian Gauner. _Gatian._ How’d that sound, Booksy? Kinda feels right, doesn’t it?

In any case, _Gatian_ Gauner finally managed to get his head out of his butt as well as out of the funk he was in. At least temporarily. It wasn’t even that I had a hard time getting out since there was just too much for me to be excited about, like my art and skill. Apparently, two moons with light to see by hung overhead that I didn’t notice until I caught a break in the canopy. I just walked as slow as molasses and took my sweet time in the forest, enjoying the sights, sounds, and smells. For a place that seemed awfully similar to Earth, in the nightly light I could see that even the leaves of the trees looked odd. For the meantime, I was stuck in a place with a lot of trees, many pieces of deadfall, and plenty of animal noises to break the forest crunk. Speaking of, that song was playing through my mind after I likened the sounds of my new environment to a trippy Aes-type beat and it was pretty fitting. There was also a big, dark-furred creature that roared at me when I was pretty sure that I could see the edge of the forest. It gave me plenty of impetus to run so I made better time than I could have, all things considered. I don’t know exactly how long I spent in the woods before I started running or after for that matter, but I do know that I ran friggin’ _fast._ For all the time I wasted or saved, it’s not like any of it really mattered. There was sunlight by the time I got to the outskirts of town without much to my name other than chapped legs and chafed buttcheeks, though I have to say that the exhaustion was a pretty good part of it. I still held my head high up until I picked a cobblestone wall and let the smooth rocks on the side massage my back as I slid down. For once in my life I actually enjoyed blacking out because it didn’t feel like I was suffocating so much as just falling asleep in a noticible way.

When I woke up, I wasn’t against a wall. Nope, I was on a bed made of cloth and some kind of stuffing in a room with electricity. At least, I _thought _that was what was making the light shine. Upon cloiser inspection, the thing actually appeared to be floating a little bit away from the wall, it’s pale blue glow illuminating the room I was in. The place had some nice windows that also let in light, but what I could see told me that I’d slept a lot longer than I’d intended. The rest of the room was vaguely reminiscent of a hospital/hospice room in the way that there were screen-like devices on wheeled rods that changed slightly every few seconds. I could make out a heart-beat monitor that used slightly rounded lines, but I couldn’t read it beyond the usual numbers. Even then they still looked different, like someone with a heavy shake to their hand had written them quickly to try and keep them as neat as possible. The longer I stared at the monitor, the clearer the simple surprise became; it was in my own nearly illegible, mostly unintelligible handwriting.

I thought that was odd but it’s not like I had any reason to think that whatever planet I was on wasn’t magical. I mean, The Brit said it himself (Though why I remember him saying it, I don’t know.) that I was going to get a superpower or something, so why wouldn’t the rest of the world have magic? It only made sense. Still, even the allure of possible magic in the world around me fell flat when no one came to check up on me. I examined the room, taking in the plain, cut-stone walls that were sparsely decorated with murals. Other than the windows and a few pretty, happy pictures, there wasn’t much going on where I found myself. Instead of staying in bed, I figured I’d get up and see if there was indoor plumbing in the weird world I’d ended up on. My luck finally gave me something to work with on the first go when I tried a door that lead me to a bathroom-looking place. The toilet was weirder than the Yankovich, but it was obviously a potty nonetheless. The copper monstrosity looked like it was either going to explode, burn my already aching cheeks, or be colder than a witch’s heart. My need to use the restroom overtook my fear of being blown up, scalded, and/or frozen, making me sit down and hope that I’d figured out the flushing thing well enough to get it right again. My business was completed in record time (Probably because I was scared of the john) and flushing had never been more… Well, frightening, but I’m not a pussy, I swear!

The toilet worked as it was probably intended and I took the time to close the back of my gown. The second I completed tying it back outside of the bathroom, the only other door in the room opened and a ginger guy walked through. His big belly, red cheeks, and bushy beard gave him the air of a lumberjack, but with his reflective tuxedo jacket and combat pants, I was a little less than sure about the fellow. I gave him a little wave and he pointed at me, nodded, and left. I tried to follow him only to find that the door was locked. There was a point where I considered climbing out of the window since I was on the first floor, but it’s not like I knew what was going on, and the people had assumedly helped me while I was down. It would’ve been rude to just up and bolt after they helped me out so I took a seat on the bed and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

There was a lot of waiting involved. The main thing I noticed was that I wasn’t getting hungry, thirsty, or tired, even as the daylight faded and the moonlight came to pass as well. By the time the next ginger came in, I was thoroughly bored and had used plenty of toilet paper. The lady was thin unlike the last fellow, and her cheeks actually held freckles instead of just being bright fucking red like a Pikachu’s. She was more of a Pichu in that regard, seeing as how she couldn’t have been over four-and-a-half feet tall or above a hundred and ten pounds. She was a waif of a woman At least I thought. Her sallow cheeks were a little unnerving.) and not my type in the slightest, even with her surprisingly full chest. I’d always been a thigh man anyway. The woman greeted me with a smile, a plastic-looking clipboard in her hand and a stylus in the other, her braided hair thrown over her shoulder. The locks went down to her navel at least, but her smile was definitely the main event. The gal’s smile lit up the room in the early morning, even more so than the sun and I found that to be charming like no other. Not alluring; charming. Gatian Gauner doesn’t fall for every girl who flashes him the pearly whites.

When she started to speak, I already had a feeling that her accent was going to be radically different from Valen’s and Kaish’s. I was not mistaken. “Why hello there! You were in quite the sorry state when they found ya out on the barn, don’tcha know?”

The soda was _so mini_. “... Yeah, pissed off my guide to the town.”

Don’t get me wrong; I’m generally not one to judge just on appearances and face value, but the Minnesotan accent? _Killer_. “Oh, why don’tcha think ya oughta be nicer ta folks who make peace? It’s only polite!”

I offered up a weak smile. “Yeah… So… Um…”

She smiled back knowingly. “You’re in Rusval, friend! Welcome to the home of everyone and no one! You’re welcome to stay as long as ya need!”

Nodding, I went to get up, but the lady quickly waved me back down. “Right. So… Where specifically am I?”

“Room eleven!”

“... Eleven. Mhm. What… Uh… _Place?_ What place am I?”

“You’re an odd one, aren’tcha?”

“I swear it’s a part of the charm.” I blew out a little chuckle and shook my head, getting hit by the fact that I was alone all over again while the lady crossed the room. She took some notes from the monitor when I decided to ask, “Say, what’s your name?”

She spared me a glance. “Me? I’m Emilia with an ‘E’, don’tcha know? I’m your doctor.”

“I figured that much. Not your name, but the doctor part. It’s nice to meet you, Emilia with an ‘E’.”

My doctor grinned some more. “And you’re ‘Gat-ee-yin Gahn-er’?”

“Gay-shun Gow-ner, but yeah, that’s me. How do you do?”

Her brows furrowed. “That’s an odd phrase. Are you one of the River People?” I was about to say yes when her heart broke on her sleeve. “Oh you _poor thing!_ I just knew you had to be one of the dead ones!”

I raised a brow. “Mmm, people on this planet sure are blunt.”

She blushed. “I-I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to… Well… I’m sorry in any case…”

I waved her worries aside. “Stating facts is fine, Doc. It’s not like you were trying to be mean.”

Emilia sighed. “It’s not that I was _mean_ so much as dull-tongued. River People are so sensitive…”

_That_ was funny. “I’m not.”

Her brows raised along with the clouds that had come in over her mood. “You mean you’re not pressing charges?”

Booksy, that woman literally said ‘pressing charges’. For being _blunt._ Or should I say insensitive? The latter works better. “... Are you saying I could have you arrested for being mean to me, or for laying out the facts in a way that was kinda cold?”

“... Well, it depends on the Judician, but yeah…” She started looking worried again, steepling her fingers.

“Emilia, I _swear to you_, I will _never _have anyone arrested just for being mean to me. That’s _sooo _petty I almost literally can’t even like a sixteen-year-old right now.”

She hugged me when I finished speaking. “Oh, you River People are so hit-or-miss, don’tcha know? Why, my sister works here and had one of ya just tease her to tears!”

I chuckled and patted her back, letting her hold onto me and pull away at the same time. The intimacy of the distance and the moment were both clearly lost on her. “You’re short.”

Doctor Shrimp blinked. “... Well, yeah. Most of us Sotans are.”

“Sotan?”

“Yep.” She pointed at her braid. “Red hair and red cheeks for the boyos, red hair and freckles for us gals. We’re pretty short and smart, but the Choret’s that guard the river make up for what we lack.”

“... Sotans and Chorets are races?”

“Mhmm! Your guide was probably a female Choret, right?”

“Yeah, regular daylight-devil.” I said bitterly.

Emilia let me go. “... Would you mind telling me what happened?”

“She thought I liked men or something and I took a joke a little too far.”

She frowned. “Well, homosexuality _is _pretty disgusting…”

I wanted to _slap the bitch_, but it just seemed to be the way the world worked here. “Right? I mean, I don’t see how _women_ want men, but you all will do as you do.”

“Yup!” The Good Doctor patted my pecker presumptuously. “Just let the ladies handle the lumber business and you’ll be right as rain, don’tcha know?”

I _really _wanted to slap the bitch, but it wouldn’t serve me any good later on. “Say, how many of the River People turn out to be Homos?”

“Some, not all. They usually don’t make it past their guide, thankfully. Well, ’least not in Gerritt. Which is where you are. Further north on the banks, those backdoor-demons get away with it, but not this far east.” Emilia smiled and shook her head, giving me a hug as she rubbed her head against my chest. I got nuzzled by a stranger. A homophobic stranger at that. “Say, you wouldn’t happen to be in the mood, would ya? We have some fine ladies that offer extra services to River Men.”

… I don’t even know how to really describe how I feel about prostitution, paid or unpaid. On one hand, people have to make a living, but on the other, it was unhealthy and a very unsafe practice. That being said, hospital-funded fun sounded nice, and I doubted I was going to get laid any other way. “I’m going to have to decline, sorry. I prefer to put in a little effort for that kind of thing.”

What? Maybe I prefer a little connection before coitus. Sue me.

“I like you. Say, did you get to pick a skill?”

I felt like I’d just woken up for a second. “... Huh, I did.”

“What’d ya pick? You River Folk are so lucky to get something you’re just automatically good at!”

“Um… I picked _talking to people_,” I said softly, my shyness batting me over the head like it did any time I actually had something to be proud of in the slightest. However, it’s not like I was proud of being able to pick any skill in the entire world and picking one of the most useless things available… Better than underwater basket-weaving, I guess.

Emilia leaned in and got on her tiptoes to bring her ear closer to my word-source. “Hmm? Ya gotta speak up, Mr. Gatian, even if ya picked somethin’ silly.”

My face felt hotter than a cast iron skillet on an open flame. “... I said… Talking to… Y’know…”

Her eyes lit up. “You can talk to _animals!?_”

I had to laugh at that, especially her reaction. “Well, not quite. I wanted the Gift of Gab.”

She stared at me like I’d said ’I picked pink powers to prettify myself on command! _Sparkles!_’ or something of the sort. “... You… Just wanted to talk to people? Were you mute before?”

“... Now that I think about it, we haven’t had a real misunderstanding yet, nor have I with anyone else. I think it’s already working.” I grinned to myself.

“So you were just bad at talking?”

“Rather mush-mouthed.”

“... Wow. You can pick anything in the world and you pick the thing _half _the world doesn’t want men to do.”

“... Is there-”

“River Folk call it sexism and misandry, but I just call it keepin’ the chaff from the wheat, don’tcha know?

“Well that _sucks._”

“Ah, you’ll get used to it. It’s not like most of ya don’t get special treatment anyway.”

“Fair point, I guess. So why am I here again?”

“Because ya didn’t have a kit on ya and we thought ya were a lost adventurer. If we’d known ya were a River Man, we woulda sent’cha to the lodge, don’tcha know?”

“No, actually. You have a lodge for people like me?”

“Yup! Rusval’s pretty friendly to the River People. Go to Chorell or Thesuvia and you’re in for a different story, though. Well, if ya do stuff you’re not supposed ta, that is.”

“I’m guessing folks ’round there hump each other’s butts and hate me?”

“Basically. Sure do catch on quick, dont’cha?”

“I try. So… What do most people in my situation do?”

“Nail one of the kind ladies who offer like a stubborn piece ’a wood!” She beamed.

“If I ask you a question-”

“_Aww_, I can’t believe you’d go there!”

“I-I didn’t mean any offense!”

Emilia started tearing up, her violet eyes filling quickly. “H-How could you think that of me?”

I nearly froze. Gage would’ve frozen. Gatian? Gatian was Alpha enough to turn it around, so that’s what I tried to do. “What are you saying, Emilia? Do those women not deserve the same respect as any other? Aren’t they just trying to provide a certain kind of comfort?”

I wasn’t expecting her to just blink and give me a bland look. “You sure aren’t much for Avalesch flirting, are you?”

Dumbfounded wasn’t the word. “... You were flirting with me.” _Was that even a question._

She tapped the monitor next to my bed. “This here says you’re a real good Silver Tongue, but you haven’t tried anything. I’ve just been trying to read you and I must say you are quite the pickle. _Mister_ Pickle.”

Gage would apologize. Gatian would roll with it. “Are you asking for my pickle or are you messing with me? Because I honestly can’t figure it out.”

Emilia sighed. “You’re a sweet guy, Mister Pickle. Why’d you go and do something as awful as dying on purpose?”

“... Uh… I was heartbroken and soon to be destitute or something like that. I don’t really remember, nor do I care. It’s in the past.”

“... What do ya want out of this second chance, Gatian? What’s the plan.” She asked seriously, her tone reminding me of Dad’s when he asked why I wasn’t going to college. Or finishing high school.

It took a good few minutes to come up with an answer for that and in those minutes, I came up with a lot of viable, but incorrect assumptions. I’d _assumed _that I wanted to just be happy and maybe finish the life I’d already had, but there was something else in my center, something that had been aching at me at the smallest mention of home or what I’d lost. Wanderlust stroked my heartstrings and a need for adventure slapped me across both sets of cheeks for extra effect. It was the same thing that had driven me to ’Frisco in the first place, and the thing that had carried me through the miles upon miles of trails in the Golden Gate Park. As I’d mentioned before, J-Man, I’d been around the world for various reasons, whether for vacation or to just waste some of my parents money (I was spoiled a little. At least I’m not a prick.), which equates to just sating the wanderlust I was feeling at the moment. From there, I built on my ideas and grew them into something more, something that I could see myself doing. Again, it took time for me to finally see whaT I really wanted to do beyond just ‘make the most of it’, which was something I had a feeling I should’ve done earlier. Still, I eventually came to my conclusion and was… Not happy. Happy’s the wrong word. Determined, I think. I felt _determined_ to succeed this time.

“... I want to become the world’s objectively _best _musician. I want people to hear my songs and try for _decades _to reproduce what I make. I want to be _the best there ever was,_ and I want to show everyone I can be just that.” I nodded a few times, looking down at my folded hands. “I don’t want to be who I was on Earth. I _can’t _be that guy anymore. I may not have been miserable, but I wasn’t happy living like I was. I think… I think it’s time to start busting balls for what I want. _Take _the opportunities in front of me instead of ask for them. I think it’s time that Gum Gum Gauner got a pair of fuckin’ nuts and started living life to the fullest.” I turned my gaze back to Emilia, seeing her lack of a smile. “I can’t live my life as the shy house-mouse I used to be. I need to get out and about and be the man I always could have been, even if that means a little extra blood in my sweat and tears. This has to be where I get my boots up, Emilia. It _has to be._”

She nodded a couple of times, the mood turned somber. “Then I don’t think you’ll last too long here, Gatian.”

“... Why’s that?”

Emilia looked me dead in the eye and said, “The people of Avalesce are notoriously harsh music critics. If you make a bad song, it won’t just be tomatoes flying at’cha.”

“Tough tacos. I’m doing this.”

She cracked a smile at that. “I don’t know what a taco is, but I’m sure you have the toughest one.”

“I don’t have a taco, nor do you, technically. Anyway, is there any… um… Well, _anything_ for me to get started on that?”

“Eeyup. There’s a River Folk center over in Luval and a bigger one in Tidrel, but that’s about it for the ones in Gerritt.”

“Is this a country or a state?”

“Gerritt is the second most racially diverse, second most religious, and the first and best metal-working province in Avalesce. Rusval, Luval, and Tidrel are all cities and towns here.”

“Ah, so can you tell me more about… Um…”

Emilia smiled, a certain gleam to her eye. “Well, if ya promise not to fall asleep as soon as you step out of the room, we’ll go over just about everything you need to know.”

“I have the funniest feeling that I won’t really have control over that.”

“You won’t. I’ll have to grab you a wheelie, but I really just needed to check and make sure that you weren’t a native. You’re obviously not a native.”

I tipped an imaginary hat to her. “Astute observation, malady.”

“Did you just call me an ailment?”

“‘Milady’ has a bad context on Earth,” I said truthfully, not quite lying.

“Ah, I see. Well, let me go grab you that wheelie and we’ll start talking when you wake up. How’s that sound, pumpkin?”

“Are you calling me pumpkin ’cause I’m fat?” I asked, mocking irritation quite well by my standard.

The Doc looked like she was about to say yes before she caught herself. “I call every Human ’round these parts pumpkin. Just like most Sotans, don’tcha know?”

“... You’re shitting me, right?”

“... Ah! I forgot you River People lived on a planet as the only sapient folk. Musta been real lonely.”

“Not with eight billion others, no.”

“... I’m… I’m- you said _eight __billion__?_”

“Yeah? How many people live on this planet?”

“... Avalon, Septural’s World Council, started doing census’ in eighty-eighty: nearly a hundred years ago. Even before the Decimative Wars that put for all intents and purposes half the world into the Dark Times during it and the rest after it was over, there were only around a billion people on Septural.”

“What about the non-human races? Were they counted too?”

Emilia looked like I’d asked her what her shoe size was in Chinese. “... Why would they be? You act like-” She paused. “How in the sweet name of buttered cobble-pops did I forget you were a River Man? I’d lose my head if it wasn’t screwed on sometimes!” She laughed like a person with half her intelligence and I suddenly got very worried about my general safety and the sanctity of my bottom.

“Right. So about my clothes-”

“Oh, when you get assigned a Companion, they’ll likely help you pick more native-friendly clothes. As for now it just so happens to be nap time, so…”

“Okay, we’re gonna start with a _no_ and continue on to a ‘I need an adult’.”

“What kind of need?”

“Stop that!”

She frowned. “Not taking jokes too well are we?”

“I don’t know why I’m freaking out but I am and you’re not helpin-” Emilia slapped me. “_That only works in stories!_”

“Oh. It usually works anyway.”

I grabbed a pillow from the bed and started whacking her with it, practically batting the gal around while she giggled her head off. “Stop! Being! So! Casual!”

“Stop being so silly and I might!”

I threw the pillow back onto the bed and clutched my hair. It took me a few seconds to realize what was happening, but when I realized there was spit drying on my face fresh from the tongue of a ginger I wiped it off. “Did you just lick me?”

“Well, slapping you didn’t work and you River Folk are always so hung up on that mogonomy thing, so yes. You betcha. Woulda just given ya a peck to see if that worked, but you seem fine now.”

I pursed my lips. “Is it naptime now?”

“Let me grab that wheelie for ya.” Emilia gave me a final smile and a wink. I came to the conclusion that she was insane shortly after she left and bid myself a good day because there was simply no other option that made sense.

About ten minutes later, Emilia came in with yet another ginger and together they started wheeling me out of my room in the wheelchair they’d brought. I saw something that looked almost like a nurse’s station before everything started aching like I’d just gotten a good workout, my eyes steadily growing heavier as we went along.

Hm… I feel like I should include waking up to meet my ‘companion’ and my ‘partner’, but that can wait. How ya feelin’, Booksy? I think I’m getting the hang of this journaling thing, what do you say? Oh shit, right. Can’t say anything. _Book_. My bad, J-Man, but it was good talking to you. Maybe we’ll pick up later tonight?


	3. Doting Bird

Doting Bird

I don’t actually know how long it took me to wake up from the induced nap, but I do know that I felt amazing when I woke up and smelled the toast. I like buttered toast more than I logically should, so when I sat up from the new bed I was in and immediately saw toast on a plate being held by someone things were looking pretty great. Then I looked up at the person holding the plate and wondered if my groin had already been aching or if I’d just gotten that aroused that fast. The silver-haired, blue eyed _bombshell_ in front of me was damn near Rachel’s twin sister, just with different features. Their figures were damn near identical with both of them sharing the same eye-shape as well. My heart beat faster and slower in turns, skipping beats left and right as I tried to get a grip on myself. Sadness hit and elation swallowed it, both of them eating each other like a pair of cannibal lesbians with too much MDMA and time on their hands. Though I feel like there wasn’t a better analogy I possibly could have come up with, I still feel dirty for it, so ignore that, Booksy.

She gave me the most gentle, warmest smile I’d probably ever seen, her teeth stained from either tea or coffee. It didn’t detract or distract from her sheer magnificence though. Actually, it just reminded me of Rachel’s ever-wonderful assortment of teas and my own fondness for both beverages, making me already feel a bit closer to her. I offered up a shy, bashful smile that pretty much summed up how I felt and sat up, not knowing what to say. Gage was resting from the craziness that was going on, and Gatian (The guy I was trying to be) had no idea what to make of the silver fox. She set the tray of food down across my lap and took a step back, looking a little nervous as she (Most likely) subconsciously shook a lock of hair over one of her eyes. Her silver locks were different from most that I’d seen in my time in Gerritt as they were free-flowing for the most part, only tied at the ends by a loose-ish band that seemed to be made of rough-spun linen that wasn’t quite what it seemed. Her hands folded in front of her as I took in everything I could see about her and I couldn’t help but notice that her hands were neither small nor large, but that her fingers were thin and slender as if she were a writer or some sort of accountant. I couldn’t tell from just her hands, but the paint on her nails assured me that she was in some trade that didn’t require heavy-lifting and/or much use of her hands.

I moved my gaze slowly onto her arms, seeing a surprising amount of definition in her forearms and triceps that were mirrored in her thighs and calves when I actually took the time to notice them. It only took a few seconds for me to recognize that I couldn’t tear my eyes away from _dem legs tho_. Yes, I know it’s odd to find lesser erogenous zones more attractive than the main events, but I couldn’t help that a thick, muscular pair of thighs with the tiniest bit of extra upon them kept my attention better than a loaded gun. I managed to stop staring at her tights or whatever they were long enough to glance at her chest, shake my head at her somewhat generous endowments, and meet her eye. She herself was examining me in turn from what I could tell, her smile wavering quickly.

There was little I could do to stop myself from trying to break the ice with, “... Hi, I’m Carl.”

Her smile fell completely. “Carl?”

The accent to her words was the same as Valen’s, doing even more to make my feelings blitz brick walls, splattering themselves over everything in the vicinity. Gatian needed to get his head out of the sunless spot, and _quick._ “Um… I’m sorry, my name’s not Carl. I-I… Well, I think that was supposed to be a joke.” My grin was more like a grimace, but it was how I was feeling at the moment in all honesty.

The blue-eyed woman smiled again, warmth in her eyes and in her laughter. “Oh, I was quite worried for a second! It would not do for us to get mixed up, would it?”

From the first word out of her mouth, I just felt so… _At ease_, around her. Beaming at her, I chuckled. “I don’t believe it would. My name’s actually Gatian Gauner, and that one’s not a joke.”

“I know, Gatian. My name is Stellara Inova.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss Stellara.”

Another easy smile crossed her lips. “It is a pleasure to meet you as well, Mister Gatian. I am- Oh! I have already said my name, have I not?”

“Stellara Inova?”

“Yes! I am your Partner, Stellara Inova. It is a great honor to assist you, River Man.” She started to incline her head.

“Wait-wait-wait-stop!” She stood up straight as I blurted out my request. “Please, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. I know there’s some sort of thing Avalescians-”

“W-We are the Gertts of Avalesce, yes, though I am not necessarily one of them...” Stellara interrupted cautiously. “A-Am I not to your liking?”

_What?_ “What? What do you mean?”

Stellara tilted her head. “Am I not a suitable Partner for you?”

“W-Well… I can’t really say yes or no because I don’t know you.”

“That is true, but do you not find me suitable to be by your side?”

_What did I just say? _“... I… I just don’t wanna force anyone-”

“Oh, no! We Partners are all volunteers. We are compensated very well for assisting River Folk.” She waved my worries aside, giving me an easy smile.

“Oh… Well… Um... “

“Another partner can still be assigned to you…” She trailed off, obviously meaning something with her words.

“What happens if you don’t get compensation for helping me?”

Stellara’s sorrow hit me hard, the tears in her eyes telling me so much more than she would say. “... We are not allowed to speak on that subject. What happens to us is no concern of the River Folk…”

“It’s a concern to me,” I barked, feeling angry for her. “Stellara, is someone going to hurt you if I don’t take you with me wherever I go?”

“...”

“... You’re with me from now on,” I said with finality. “I’ll keep you safe, Stellara. No one’s going to lay a finger on you under my watch.”

She bit her lip. “... What does that mean to you, if I may ask?”

“It means I just got myself a new friend, I think.”

Her eyes widened as her jaw lowered slightly. “... _Friend?_”

“That’s what a partner is, right? A close friend?”

“... Maybe in your River World. Partner does not mean friend here.”

It hit me. “... You’re my slave, aren’t you?” Stellara nodded, her beautiful blue eyes filled with acceptance and a tinge of hope. “Nah. I’m too black to own slaves. That’s… That’s _beneath me._”

“I- I beg your pardon?”

“I can’t take someone’s freedom from them in good conscience, but if it helps you more than it hurts you… Still, owning someone… That’s _so far _beneath me and what I’m willing to do.”

“I am very confused right now, but I am guessing that you do not plan on giving me your children?”

“... I don’t like kids?”

Stellara looked offended. “You do not like children?”

“... No?”

“... So you will not choose me for procreation. I accept this.” She nodded.

“I mean, I kinda just met you so…”

She tilted her head. “Did you not feel the spark?”

My face lit up bright red, not knowing what to say. Again. “Sp-Spark?”

“Are you not attracted to me?”

“...” I didn’t know what to say to that.

“Are you- Are you blushing because I am correct?”

“I-I-I-”

“Oh, River Folk do not have Love upon Looking, do you?”

“... Y-You mean l-l-love at first s-sight?”

“I do.”

“... You look a lot like my ex wife, Stellara. I… I hate to make things awkward, but-”

“Gatian, I assure you that I will be a better Partner than your wife was in her own duties.” Stellara nodded sharply, her wavy silver locks bouncing as she did. “Your wife may look like me, but she is not me.”

“I-I… I didn’t mean to imply that you two were anything alike other than… Well, being shaped the same.”

Now it was _her _turn to blush. “O-Oh…”

I couldn’t help but chuckle. “You look a lot nicer than she did.”

Stellara’s smile was not genuine by any meaning of the word. “Ah. Thank you.”

“Stellara, I… I’m making a mess of this first impression, aren’t I?”

“I have met worse people.”

“... I’m not one of-”

“You are already one of the better ones,” She said softly.

“Oh. Thanks.”

“... Gatian, are you hungry?”

I looked at my breakfast. “I should probably eat.”

“That was not a yes.”

“I know. I don’t really get hungry very often, I just eat a lot when I do.”

“How odd. Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Can you keep me company for a little bit? And tell me where we are?”

“I can do both! We are currently in the Recovery Wing of Joad’s Healing Center in Rusval. Your doctor, Emilia, told me that you were having trouble adjusting to the new world?”

“At first, but it’s kinda becoming easier to deal with now. Speaking of new worlds though, what should we do after we get out of here?”

“... Are you asking me what your path should be?”

“Well, I know I’m going to find an instrument to play, but I have to get good at that before I make money off of it.”

“Oh! Then we should take a journey to Ponydale! The Ponies there are very friendly and it would be a good place to start a career in music. Unlike most Avalesch, the Ponies are very forgiving when it comes to music.”

“... You don’t mean literal ponies, do you?”

“... Two hooves, two hands, pointy ears, and tails?”

“_Fuck me!_” I blurted.

“... Ri-Right_ now?”_

“No, that’s not what- I meant- I- er… Well, when you say that ‘Ponies’ are people, would you happen to know any of them?”

“Ah, yes! My adopted sister, Stellara Sola, is a Unicorn.”

“_Shut. Up._”

“You do not mean to be silent, do you?”

“No, not quite.” I sighed. “So the different races are real?”

“Yes. I am a Choret, if you could not tell.”

“... And I am?”

“A River Man.”

“... Is there anything you can do that I can’t?”

“Be cute.”

“Other than- Hey!” I chuckled.

Stellara smiled, making my heart pound a little faster. “I was kidding. Chorets, or the Choresh, are very physically capable, and my people often find themselves living longer lives than most River People or other Humans. We live a very healthy life with a strict diet most of the time. For example, Chorets do not eat most forms of bread.”

My jaw dropped. “You’ve never had buttered _toast?_”

“I have not.”

“Would it kill you to try some?”

“It may, but it would undoubtedly make me rather sick.”

“_Awww!_ I was going to have you try some of my toast!”

Her eyes widened, her cheeks pinkening as she smiled nervously. “And yet you lead me to believe I was not suitable for you. You are a very tricky man, Gatian.”

“Wait, what?”

“Oh, offering food from your plate to another is often seen as a very humble gesture of fondness here on Septural. To explain, I have only been offered food from another person’s plate once, and that was my former mas- _Ah!_” She clutched her neck, a symbol glowing a bright yellow from her formerly bare skin.

I grabbed for her other hand and found it, looking at Stellara with obvious concern. “I think I get the gist. Stell, if there’s only one meal between us, you’ll always be welcome to what half you can actually eat.”

“That… That is very kind and generous of you, Gatian.” She said softly, her voice like a breath in the breeze. “May I… May I ask something of you?”

“You’re supposed to be my Partner, right?” She nodded. “Then you’re welcome to anything I have, bar none.”

Stellara licked her lips. “Would… Would you mind if I had some of your eggs?”

I couldn’t stop myself from laughing at that. “Aw, wow! I thought you were about to ask me to quest for the Holy Grail or something! Yeah, you can have all of the eggs, and if I’m allowed seconds, you can have those too.” I looked at the plate and picked up the toast, eying one of the strips of meat. “Say, what kind of… Well, it’s not bacon or sausage-”

“Oh, the meat? It’s from a Buffindolo, I believe. One of the creatures the Sotans like to domesticate, if my studies are correct.”

“... You mean they raise them like livestock, right?”

“No, they are pets for the young ones. Once they reach maturity, they are sacrificed for whatever official may want them, though compensation is paid to whoever does the most work regarding the Buffindolo. My sister, Deot, was very fond of her Buffin. She massaged it daily and bought her freedom with him.” Stellara smiled fondly, looking out the window dreamily.

“Can I set _you _free?”

“Ah, no.” Stellara chuckled. “I am already free.”

“... You still have to follow me, though.”

“It is much better than doing…” she felt for her neck, touching the welt that had formed from earlier. “It is better than doing nothing all day and wasting away. Yes.”

I’d never let go of her hand or my toast, so I took a bite of the food and gave the appendage a squeeze. “I have a feeling that’s not what you were going to say, but I can understand the fear of pain. It’s a powerful motivator.”

“That it is. Say, I have not met many River People that were willing to talk to me. Would you be able to tell me some things about your world?”

I blinked a couple of times. “Mind if we eat and talk? The eggs are still all you.”

She beamed. “May I go get a second plate for you? It would make things a little less intimate.”

I gave her the sauciest gaze Gatian could cook up. “Maybe I want things… _intimate?_”

Stellara blushed and laughed, freeing her hand from mind to pat my curly head. “If I did not know you a little better now, I would have assumed that you were serious!”

I chuckled a little, kinda put out by being rejected with the assumption that I was joking. “Well, go grab that second plate and we’ll tone it down a bit, huh?”

“I will return shortly!”

Stellara left quickly and I finally got a chance to see what her hips were hiding while she’d been standing off to my side. What I saw surprised me since I’d assumed that she’d been as modest as Rachel from behind, but lo’ and behold, the woman was _blessed by the name of the LORD!_. And so was I, by extension. Knowing that I could lay her on command gave me a sick kind of joy that I killed because it made me feel bad, mostly because I equated it to rape. There were a lot of things about Stellara Inova that I was going to have to learn, but then I thought about how kind and seemingly timid Stellara was. It showed especially well when she wasn’t sure of what she was talking about. The woman was buxom and beautiful, but there was a cuteness to her that was far more attractive than her raw, unadulterated looks. The only person I’d seen wear makeup in Gerritt was the nurse that came with Emilia to walk me out of my room, or rather, _wheel _me out. Other than her, au naturale was the look of the season, and Stellara wore it well. Outside of that, I thought of the fact that I basically had a slave and couldn’t help but wonder if someone had taken Stellara’s gift-from-birth without her consent and didn’t doubt it for a second. I felt _so bad_ for the woman, but it made me feel a little bit better knowing that she was only subject to _my_ will now since I knew I wouldn’t purposefully mistreat her. I snacked on some tasty toast, thinking of the things I could have Stellara do before she came back and I got very excited about the prospect of being serenaded to sleep.

There were plenty of things I wanted Stellara to do for me, like clean and cook, but I also didn’t want to waste her time as a Human being seeing as how I would hate being subject to someone’s will. I decided that I would ask if she minded doing anything before actually asking her to do it, and even then I planned on offering her an out anyway. When she came back to the room, I was nibbling on some buttery goodness and was determined to make Stellara the happiest Partner in the area. If I couldn’t then I would try even harder to make my partner the most well-treated that I possibly could. Once Stellara set the other tray down, I started moving the meat and bread from one tray to the other, and then I moved the eggs onto the spare plate. Stellara waited for my okay to start eating, but I almost didn’t give it to her out of ignorance. It took me a few bites to ask why she wasn’t eating, and when she told me, I made it clear that she should take a bite when I take my first bite. It would be no other way and I would accept no other option, so I practiced with Stellara, making sure she and I took our first bites of whatever at the same time. Then we just ate normally and talked which was nice.

While we were eating I felt like I was growing closer and closer to Stell, like to the point where we were actually becoming friends. She eased up around me and dropped some of the walls I hadn’t known that she’d built around herself and I saw pieces of who she really was. Then it happened. Something I could describe as nothing other than ‘The Spark’ lit up in my chest and made me blush while she was singing a little song from her childhood that she remembered. It just hit me like a firecracker inside, blowing its payload in a split second and fading just as fast it appeared. I knew that Stellara was a woman worth keeping around as I’d never known before, and it wasn’t just because she was my Partner. There was some… She just had this… Okay, Booksy, you know that feeling when you’re in the shop and you spy this sweet little Diary with the page-saver and the lock on the front? The one with the blue cover that just makes you go _wild?_ Yeah, me neither, but Stellara would probably be that book for me.

After the feeling passed and I was able to suss out what it meant, Stellara just seemed so much more… _Human_. Before she’d felt like an alien; someone who looked kinda like me but was actually nothing close to myself. At the moment, she just felt like she was the person I’d just divorced, but during the good times. The Rachel vibes were strong enough to elicit a reaction I didn’t approve of, and when Stellara took notice, I could see her heart breaking through her expression. She clutched my head to her shoulder to comfort me, even though I’d been smiling at the moment and muttered assurances that all would be fine once I got my legs beneath me again. I didn’t know exactly why I was crying, but it kind of reminded me of the way I’d felt before I’d up and killed myself for next to no reason. It was frustrating to feel good and bad at the same time with all emotions being caused by the same gentle person, but it meant that I was alive and I was grateful for it. Once the tears stopped flowing, I held onto Stellara a little longer and realized something fantastic. Where Rachel had smelled like lemon and honey most of the time, Stellara smelled of a spicy, more floral Earl Grey that was especially dark. Her scent was calming and soothing and so was her presence, both of which I did my best to soak up… Only writing that down do I realize that I fell harder for this woman in a day than any other in any amount of time… There was just something about Stellara Inova that made her feel… _Handmade_, I guess. Like she was built from the soles of her perfectly average, not-super-weird-looking feet to the absolutely perfectly-coiffed-yet-effortlessly-maintained locks that tumbled down from the top of her head in shimmering waves. A part of me wanted to get it together and distance myself from her a bit, so I did just that… Kinda.

After I got my fill of Stellara’s vibe, I pulled away to see that she was also crying, so I wiped her tears away, giving her a worried look. “Don’t cry, Stell! I’m okay, you’re okay; we’re okay, okay? I just… I think I felt the Spark.”

She went from sad crying to happy crying. “Oh, how great is this now! You have felt the Spark!”

“Right. I-”

“Oh, Gatian! We will make beautiful, _free _children that will be so, _so _very happy!”

I stared at her. “...”

“Oh, we will have a son with Choret hair and another daughter with hair as chocolate as the finest cacao! Oh-Oh-Oh! Our son will be the best musician after you! And our daughter shall be quite a capable warrior, do you agree?”

“... Yeah. Yup.” _The phuq did I just do to myself? Good going, __Gage__._

Stellara beamed. “Oooh, when would you like to start the procreation? Now? In an hour._ Soon?”_

“... Is a couple of years soon?”

She deflated visibly before perking up. “Oh yes, you must begin your career before you become a father, yes?” I nodded. “Then our children shall wait to join the world until you are a famous man! I cannot wait to see how a River Man kisses!”

“Well… We don’t really have to wait for that one… If you want?”

Stellara smiled widely and leaned down, trying to calm herself down before the moment of truth. She failed miserably, so I ended up kissing a somewhat thin but still pliable line of lip and a strip of tooth. IT was an odd, slippery feeling that got better when she closed her mouth and we actually got to the kissing bit of making out. Her lips were surprisingly super soft and so, _so _sweet to the touch that I lost myself in Stellara’s vibe for a few seconds all over again. Practically vibra… _resonating _with the moment, for the sake of variety, was pretty nice. Clocking out and clocking back in like I was on the job was pretty sucky. As far as I was concerned, kissing Stellara was the best drug I could have taken, and if there was to be a repeat in the future then I would happily take the moment as a nugget of gold and store it in the vaults of my memories. Her lips… There was just no way to describe them. It was like matching a puzzle piece, but having that piece be that last one to a million piece picture that could only be completed with the right partner… Which… She kinda was my _Partner_, but… _Fuck. _You knew what I meant, Booksy. Whatever, I may have leaned in for the kiss as well, but Stellara was completely and totally in control, marking the points where we would pull away and come back together with a light sigh each time. When she pulled away for the final time, we looked at each other and smiled.

Stellara started asking about my life and I told her everything I’m about to tell you, Booksy, and then some. I told her about everything I could remember from my childhood, including the time my parents had taken myself and my brother to Disneyland, King’s Island, Cedar Point, Six Flags, Coney Island, and a few other places all in the span of a single summer. It had been a great time as I recalled it, though I’d left out the times I’d gotten hit by shoes, phones, glasses, and a few other things. As we moved on from happier memories we went to the sad ones, though I didn’t have too many particularly sad memories. Yeah, there were plenty of disappointments and failures, but as I explained that to Stellara, I also covered the fact that I’m not one to really dwell on the past and the mistakes I’ve made. She was surprised to hear that I, a River Man, wasn’t one to pay much attention to my mistakes, but she was elated when I started talking about Rachel.

I didn’t want to talk about rachel, nor did Stellara think I wanted to, but she just kept asking questions. Everything from her personality to her build and everything in between, including our cuddling habits and sex life. It was a surprise to Stellara that River People were purely monogamous like the Chorets since so many of them started harems one way or another, and it was an even bigger shock to her that I had only ever slept with one person. She offered to help me ‘fix’ that in time, though when I asked if anyone had ever caught her eye, I couldn’t help but be in complete disbelief when her answer was truthfully ‘no’. At least, as far as I could tell. Stellara had a better grip on who I was and was now certain that I was one to wait for Choret-lover levels of intimacy, but she herself admitted that she was relying on training and hearsay for her experience. There were a few things that I wanted to clear up but… It was kinda _awkward_ for some reason. Lunch rolled around and I saw that all Stellara had eaten was still the eggs, so I asked her if they actually fed Partners in Joad’s and she told me that Partners weren’t often afforded many rights. That being said, I had her go get us both plates for lunch since she was allowed to eat whenever I did. I wasn’t _supposed _to eat with her since Stellara was supposed to be my subordinate, but she acknowledged the fact that I considered her my equal, even if she herself didn’t feel the same.

By the time night rolled around, Stellara informed me that she was a Moon Woman and would most likely perk up further when the moon showed its face. I was surprised to find that she was a ‘Moon Maiden’ instead of a ‘Sun Sister’, but it made sense with her general color scheme. Once the moon was actually up, I learned who Stellara really was, and she was _cuddly._ After dinner had been eaten and it was made clear to me that leaving was totally up to me and my discretion, we agreed to stay in Joad’s for the night before striking out for Tidrel in the morning. That being said, there was only one bed in the room, so I coerced Stellara into sharing it with me, rather than sleeping on the floor or in the chair provided. She was hesitant at first, but once I laid a finger on her while she was debating, it was like I’d tied myself to her and given her a shot of Purple Man’s pheromones. She was all over me for a few minutes before she settled down on my left side, hugging my arm and giggling her head off.

I had to ask why she was so giddy, to which she replied with, “I have never slept with a man before. Service, yes, but sleeping? No.”

“Oh. Glad I could be your first.” I chuckled awkwardly.

“I am happy that you are glad. When we fulfill your aspirations, I hope you will be even happier!”

“I’m pretty darn happy right now to be honest with you. You’re just the right kind of cool for a good nap.”

“And you are very warm for a Moon Man River Man.”

“I’m a Moon Man?”

“Yes. Have you not seen a mirror?”

I held her hand while she hung onto my arm. “What do you mean?”

“Your eyes. Moon Men have gray eyes.”

“Oh. I could have sworn that the last Moon Man I saw had black eyes.”

“He most likely did if he was an older man. Moon Mens’ eyes turn black when their testosterone spikes in their fifties.”

“... So we age well?”

“Not all of you, but a good many. Most Moon Men are normal like any other Human throughout their lives, but most of my kinsmen age like wine. Their youth starts fine, but they generally hit their stride in their elder years.”

“And River Moon Men?”

“I have never met…” She blinked.

“You’ve never met one?”

“... Yes…” Stellara loosened her grip on my arm and gazed into my eyes, her sapphire rings growing as the pupils shrank. If her eyes weren’t always the focus of my attention, I might’ve missed it in the lower lights. Then I half-imagined she had some damn Alita eyes and wondered if I was hallucinating. “... There _aren’t _any Moon River Men.”

“Why not?” I asked casually.

“... Because they never make it past the Rivers…” Tears formed in her eyes. “They’re always too sad…” … _Are you sure they’re not just gay or bi?_

“Do I seem sad to you?”

Stellara breathed shakily. “Your eyes are sad, Gatian. I didn’t put it together, but your eyes are _so sad…_”

“RSF? Resting Sad Face?” I chuckled, genuinely amused.

“You’re pretending…”

“You callin’ me a liar?” I mocked, my fake Southern accent awful to my own ears.

“You don’t have to-”

I kissed her because I was allowed to and it felt really good. It also stopped her from accusing me of things, which was starting to irritate me because I wasn’t _pretending_… It was just my way of dealing with it…

Okay, Booksy, you’re my pal, right?

No answer? So you’ll keep this quiet? Yeah, thank you, my Book. It means a lot to me.

The thing is that… Well, I’ve been suicidal ever since I could remember. It’s been a long time since I could actually say I’ve had a good day, and there was nothing I could generally do about it other than smile and laugh. Yeah, when I said I let things roll off my back it was because it was true and largely has been for most of my life. I never let things hit me too hard, but I took my lumps nonetheless. I mean… Who can honestly _stand _not being good at anything? Who could _live like that _and _not _be sad all the fucking time? I mean, it wasn’t half bad when I was alone and finding myself, but with Rachel…?

I loved her so much, but it wasn’t just verbal abuse. It was… I… Booksy, I couldn’t leave. She _had me_. From the second date, Rachel already had her friends believing that I was a crazy, screw-loose screw-up with nothing better to do than hump and dump other women. It wasn’t me and it wasn’t anywhere close to the person I presented, but women believe what they want. Even my own Aunt didn’t believe that I was still the same dopey guy she’d always known, and that hurt almost as much as getting hit with a phonebook. Or a sock with a naval orange in it. Or just getting pinched, kicked… A few other things. There just wasn’t anything I could do. I didn’t bruise easily and what marks I did get never amounted to enough evidence to build a case. I tried going to a shelter for victims of abuse, but there weren’t any for _men_ and none of the female ones were co-ed. Apparently, straight/hetero guys don’t get abused in Cali. Ever. I got laughed out of a police station, a hospital, and lost more friends than I cared to remember over admitting to being abused by a woman… It hurt. It hurt a lot, but I thought that it was just Rachel showing her own twisted form of love.

When she left me I just… I felt so _unloved._ So alone that I was _certain_ that leaving the world was the only way to find company. I was well aware of what I was doing in the moments before I jumped, and the life I lived was enough for me to take the step. I didn’t slip. I got past the fence, turned around, and did a full fucking backflip on the way down; the only thing I ever did correctly to my knowledge. I wanted to die. I’d wanted it for so long that finally having a half decent reason…? It was peaceful. It was like I found what I wanted the most in life and finally had a way to get it. Had the most beautiful place to achieve my goal, too. The only problem? I was still depressed, and I was still hurting so deep it felt like I’d never be able to shake it. How Stellara saw it inside when no one else did was beyond me, but she’d hit the nail on the head. The only thing, and I do mean _only _thing that didn’t let me ask Kaish for a nice long nap…? The fact that The Brit took time out of his schedule to bring me back. The fact that someone cared enough to give a loser a second chance? That was enough to get me out of the forest, but that’s where my goals ended. After that? Ending up in Joad’s meant that I could find a purpose, and having a purpose was another thing to keep me going, but Valen had already stabbed me in the back and the only other person I actually had talked to besides Stellara seemed pretty insane.

That being said, I felt like I needed to kiss her. I _needed _Stellara to feel the love I’d saved in my heart, the little bit of Gage that I had left. Gatian was fine and dandy, but I had a feeling that Stellara was looking for something in me that I didn’t have anymore. I couldn’t fake it because I didn’t know what it was, and the facade I had up got seen through with so little effort that it was astounding. I genuinely don’t like being sad so I choose not to be most of the time, but that doesn’t stop my bones from hurting or my head from aching. It doesn’t stop me from hating the loser I was, and as I kissed Stellara, I hoped that her lips could read mine better than Rachel’s did. I hoped that she would see me for the man I was instead of the chicken-shit coward I used to be. When she slipped me some tongue, I wondered if she’d done it on purpose since it didn’t stay long, but I returned the favor and she accepted happily, even though Frenching isn’t really my thing. For Stellara and her caramel-flavored tongue?

Frick, it was my thing now.

When I pulled away from her, my mind racing and my heart pounding, Stellara… The look in her eyes told me she understood what I’d meant to say. Then she said, “You are sad, but you do not let the pain hurt. You are a very _strong_ man, Gatian Gauner.” _Am I as strong as your accent?_

I took her hand in mine. “... Thank you. So what do you say, Partner? Wanna help a sad little bastard try and make it to happiness?”

She freed herself from my grasp and worried me with the gesture until she caressed my cheek. “If you do not find happiness, then I will give it to you. I swear by my Anima, Gatian, that I will find your happiness and be by your side until it no longer makes you happy. Then we will find a new happiness and we will rejoice.”

“You don’t need to find it for me. Just stick around. Having someone that actually cares whether I live or die is nicer than you probably feel.”

“I am a Partner.” Stellara said, confused.

“And I care about you. Are we done saying obvious things?”

’

She stared at me before shaking her head and giggling, another lock of silver falling over her face. Stellara blew it away like a breeze with… other hair? Anyway, when she smiled at me, the heart-puddle formed rapidly and it was pretty _gooey_. “Thank you, Gatian. I have a feeling that this is the start of something truly beautiful.”

“That’s what you say now. Just wait until I start snoring again.”

“But you do not snore.”

“I don’t?”

“You are a very quiet person. It is hard to know when you’re around if I am not looking or actively listening to you, and that is unusual for one of my kind.”

“Speaking of your kind, we’re both Moon People, right?”

“We are.”

“Why don’t we start our journey at night?”

“... Well, there may be a few weapons and supplies left here, but I doubt that a hospital carries much in the way of River Person utilities.”

I sat up and she followed along with me. “Then why don’t we go see what we can start our adventure with?”

“Adventure? That sounds like a lot of fun!”

“I’m sure it will be in between all the travel. What do you say, Stell?”

“What are we waiting for?”

… Huh. Didn’t quite get to meeting Felix yet, but it’s a good place to stop for now. I think my feelings are too riled up for this nonsense, Booksy. I need a nap and a drink. Preferably mead since I don’t want to have a coronary or something with the other stuff.


	4. Chapter Four: Grace On A String

Stell and I didn’t take long in getting to the nurse station and from there we were lead to a supply storage area. Ms. Inova herself started telling me about all the things she was actually trained to do, like the fact that she could fence and work a bow rather proficiently as well as manage a small business. She was quite the handywoman when it came to all sorts of things, her training reaching back to when she was still a teenager and including plenty of little helpful hints. She could teach me pretty much anything I needed to know about her particular weapons, but unfortunately for me, there was neither a rapier nor a bow in the Supply Room at Joad’s Hospital. Instead, Stellara got a pretty sketchy looking crossbow and I got a longsword that was probably supposed to be used with two hands by a Sotan. Neither of us wanted unreliable weapons, so we started our journey by finding a small shop to trade them in at for knives. Of course, there weren’t many places willing to take the crossbow but the sword was well-made enough to get us a piece or two of decent steel.

After we got our packs squared away and set our knives on our hips, Stellara and I went to the local ‘Authoritan’ station, having left the hospital with no goodbyes. Anyone I would’ve wanted to see had already gone home by the time Stellara and I found clothes suitable for me and my tastes, so it was a bit of a bittersweet non-goodbye. Alone enough with only my talkative Partner by my side, we made our way to the Authoritan station pretty quickly considering the number of places we passed that were reasonably spaced out. It wasn’t that Rusval was small, it was just that the place had obviously been built from the ground up by a very anal architect with a thing for symmetry and ease of access. There were straights and side roads that all made sense and had signs clearly labeled on pretty much every corner, and every building was clearly marked or labeled as exactly what it was. That being said, Stellara has no sense of direction and I pretty much got us there based on her own directions and  _ not  _ turning around for no reason.

The ‘Armators’ were intimidating, but ultimately nice enough people. Stellara got a few glares that were eased when I stood beside her, but the woman had a habit of starting off in random directions when we were being led to our first waiting room. Then we were led to different interrogation rooms where we were separated. I wasn’t worried about much since I didn’t think Stellara and I were guilty of anything, so when I met the Armatura in charge of the case that got us questioned in the first place, I answered his questions to the best of my abilities and had no problem convincing him I was just some guy who swam out of a river. After that, he was honestly just such a friggin’ peach. I do mean that in a conventional way, too. Armatura Clarik was actually a person I wanted to get to know, so I asked him a few questions as he asked me some more, but then he turned into a dick and left without getting me the caffeya he’d promised. I was lead to another waiting room shortly after that, but I was honestly just frustrated and annoyed that I’d been honey-potted for no reason.

Stellara was led back to the same waiting room but with cuffs on her wrists that had to be taken off. She breathed a sigh of relief that had all three men in the beige,  _ beige  _ room blushing furiously before giving me the wrong smile to match the sound she’d just made. I felt dirty and I wanted her to feel dirty, but there was good in me that I wanted to shine. There was also Gatian, so I smiled back and beckoned her over, garnering jealous glares from the Armators. Stellara tilted her head like she had no idea what was going on and came over anyway, sitting close beside me. One of the fellows clad in red ceramic armor warned us against any funny business, but the woman in the black armor snorted, cocked her gun, and bantered a little with the other dudes. They didn’t really say much to any effect, but the message was clear; I wasn’t to do anything close to fun with Stellara unless I wanted to pay for it.

After a good while, Clarik came around again and asked about our whereabouts again, so Stellara and I told him the truth, which cleared us of guilt/suspicion for the time being. He then apologized for being a dick and sent us off into the early morning with nothing but lost time to show for our efforts. Stellara was excited to get started on the journey again but my spirits weren’t nearly as high. I’d assumed that everyone in Rusval liked River People, but apparently, there just wasn’t enough ambient love to get us any free supplies or anything. However, Tidrel was supposed to basically worship people like me so my hopes raised as we made our way out of town. Walking through the streets was an eyeful, to say the least, and in the daylight, I could actually see what was going on with the town.

The architecture reminded me of old Brooklyn for some reason, and for another odder reason, it smelled like Seattle without the smell of coffee and condescension on the air. The vibe to Rusval was lively, but I noticed that for a decent-sized town there didn’t appear to be anything to do for recreation. Every shop we passed was utilitarian in one way or another, serving a practical/pragmatic purpose. I saw exactly two luxury item-type shops and one of them was a jeweler. The other was interesting, but without any money, there was no point in going inside. Other than those two places most buildings in Rusval were either plain brick and mortar or a drab stone, City Hall notwithstanding. Stellara suggested we go there to pick up supplies, but the Armators in front of the place wouldn’t let us go inside since I wasn’t a native and Stellara was just a Partner from a different province. I found that to be racist and annoying, but I didn’t let it get to me since there was nothing I could do for it save for walking away.

After a few more of Stellara’s ideas bombed and failed miserably I took over the decision making and got us out of the frigging city because it was turning out to suck. With my Partner’s mood on the fall, I tried singing a favorite song of mine to lighten the mood. Sapphire’s rendition of  _ Shiki No Uta _ needed music to go along with it in my opinion, but my efforts were appreciated by Stellara nonetheless. She asked me to sing something else while on the road to pass the time, attempting an old lullaby of her own. It was nice, but she forgot half the words while walking. Our journey had just started, so I tried to think of another song I was actually confident in singing for her and decided on one of my unknown gems.  _ Cliquot _ by Beirut was made for a serenade, though I had to change some of the lyrics to be less… Well,  _ gay _ , but saying that has such negative connotations. As it was, the song was sung by a man about his lover who is also a man, so a couple of pronoun adjustments were necessary in my mind. I was still sore from losing the friend I had in Valen ad was in no hurry to lose Stellara too, especially since she was the only person I was on speaking terms with at the moment. Honestly, Booksy, having to hide who I really was just… There’s not much more taxing than pretending to be someone you’re not, even if it’s not  _ that _ big a deal.

To go off on a little tangent since this is my journal and I’m allowed to do this, it sucked to not be able to find a little more common ground with Stellara, especially since a couple of the Armators we’d seen had been kinda cute in a ‘Man-in-Uniform’ type of way. Not being exactly who I was didn’t happen to be anything new, but I had the strangest feeling that Stellara would accept whatever I told her. The problem was that I didn't trust the feeling as far as I could throw it and was wary of being rejected yet again by another beautiful woman that deigned it worthy of her time to help me. Not that I have a gender-based inferiority complex (Though I probably do), I just had problems with women that were nice to me, as in I hated letting them down. It usually ended with more work or a tongue-lashing/regular beating from Rachel in the past, but Stellara was just different. I felt like everything had to be perfect or she would eventually just give up and go back to whatever lay in wait for her, compensation be damned. The self-doubt and fear of being alone were common to Gage, but Gatian hated the weakness within and smacked my brain around until I shook the thoughts clear and picked up the journey with another song.

About seven hours away from Rusval, Stellara and I stopped to make camp just off of the road, about twenty feet into some tall grass. We didn’t have the tools for a fire and we only had one tent, but it was big enough for both of us and the bedroll could also be shared. My main issue with the small space was that my Partner was a very handsy bedmate. To be honest, I kinda got off on being groped even if she didn’t know she was doing it, but it still made me feel some kind of wrong. The morality of letting myself being molested by someone having a rather interesting dream wasn’t lost on me, but I also couldn’t find the right option. On one hand, I could wake her up and get her to knock her crap off, but on the other, I could let her do what she wanted and hope she grabbed my sausage again. Gage and Gatian argued about it, but in the end, I’m a respectable guy or at least that’s what I’d like to think. I maneuvered myself out of her grasp and faced Stellara instead of letting her big-spoon my handsome self, but that didn’t solve my problems very well. Instead of having my front bits fondled, Stellara hugged me close and kept me in place. One arm lay under my head and the other arm led to a hand that was firmly gripping my buns a little tighter than I was comfortable with. It was at that time that I tried to poke Stellara awake, but the gal slept like a dead rock on the outskirts of the universe. There was no waking her with pansy tactics.

Since I was facing her (And a little kinky) I licked her ear and tried to bite it, only to have her nuzzle me. It was enough to make me not want to hurt her out of sheer adorableness, so I tried tickling her sides which only got her to giggle a little at first. It didn’t do me any good when I started and it didn’t help anymore when she stuck her hands down my pants. I might’ve been bi, but I’d  _ never  _ enjoyed being a bottom, nor did I like anyone poking around the man-donut, so I panicked and thought of something that would wake any woman up, guaranteed. Sadly, it must’ve only been for Earth women since my false RDJ sighting had no effect on Stellara. Her hand started reaching further and further, so I tried licking her face, pinching her breast, and when both of those failed, kissing her. It’s always the last thing you try that gets results, though I can’t say how I felt about what I got. On the one hand, it was a nice, warm kiss. On the other hand, all it needed was an odiferous baguette and a twenty-year-old bottle of chardonnay to be any French-er. Maybe an order of escargot to top it off.

When Stellara was done kissing me back, I had to scoot away from her and pant as if I’d just finished having someone suffocate me with a pillow. Speaking of pillows, Stell’s pillowy lips and even softer chest filled my mind with thoughts of public indecency and forest fun, though my lower head wasn’t at attention because it lacked the oxygen to think. The second brain doesn’t generally need that much to get the job done, it was just that Stellara had carried on until I was about to black-out. I hadn’t pulled away prior to the spots because I was still seeing how I felt about getting kissed by a half-asleep stunner, but Stellara solved that for me by asking a simple question that I didn’t answer.

‘ _ Were you dreaming of me as well?’ _

In the filtered light of the dual moons, each of their respective glows shone through and played on Stellara’s skin. I wasn’t sure if I was thankful for the sight or what, but I knew that such beauties were lost on so many people. The mild curiosity in her bleary eyes, the way the blue of the larger moon played with the reddish tint of the smaller, the way the light reflected off of her eyes, giving them such an otherworldly feel… I was in grave danger of leaping before I looked, knowing that I would come to regret making a decision while in the moment. Against my better judgment, I reached out and caressed her shoulder, just the two of us in our own private world. The tent was almost perfect for the mood, and I wouldn’t have rather been anywhere other than in front of my Partner. Especially when the howling started.

We’d slept with our knives under our one pillow so I accidentally grabbed Stellara’s. It didn’t matter because I didn’t even notice at the time, but either way, we were both up and ready to go in about ten seconds' time. The tent was large enough for us to both stand up and have a little leg room though space was the last thing on my mind. Part of me wanted to let the trained fighter handle everything, but Gatian and my inner White Knight told me to protect pretty lady, so protect I attempted. I didn’t even get to fully turn towards the ‘door’ before Stell used some freakish strength I never would have assumed she had to sit my ass down and make me stay put. She took her knife from me and gestured for me to stay quiet, so I did. More howling sounded closer than before. Whatever the creatures were, they didn’t quite sound like wolves or coyotes. The timbre was too dull for a coyote and too high to be a wolf, so neither made sense, and I wasn’t eager to find out what exactly was making the noise. I figured my time left alive was better spent looking at Stellara and her amazing ass, which made me feel better about my imminent demise. Then I thought about how I’d had the opportunity to tap that and had let it pass. Presto change-o, I had something to regret in my second set of final moments, but I didn’t get far into that specific type of despair because Stell decided to leave the tent and face whatever was coming at us.

I’d like to say I did the smart thing and stayed in the tent, but I’d also like to say that I did the dumb, brave thing (Because I actually did) and followed Stell out into the wilderness. The first thing that I noticed was that it had grown lighter than I’d thought, the light from the moons giving the forest an awesome glow that I totally wanted a picture of. Then I noticed that there were around a dozen sets of eyes peering at me through the undergrowth and darkness beyond the light and I just wanted to go home and get beaten by my wife. Ex-wife. I think it’s ‘Ex’ now, don’t you, J-Man? In any case, I didn’t get to be scared for much longer since Stellara shoved me back into the tent with force, making me like her a little less and love her a little more. I didn’t want to get eaten, but the fact that she was going to face our animal adversaries all on her own was pretty harrowing as well. I didn’t want to die and I also didn’t want Stellara to die alone. Without any training or superpowers, there was precious little I could do to help. The thought crossed my mind to sing a soothing song, but I wasn’t stupid. That kind of crap only works in fairytales and fantasy fics, and I was currently in neither. Or maybe I was? Shit, I didn’t know and I couldn’t pretend to, so I focused on the one thing I could and tried to think of a way for Stell and I to get out of the situation alive.

Well, maybe I  _ was  _ stupid because I certainly couldn’t think of anything that would save us both, or rather, kill one of us much less fast than the other. My Partner was the only one out of the two of us who could hope to get past the dog-things and she seemed pretty hell-bent on fighting, so I did what I could to back her up and sourced my earlier idea for inspiration. My high school's fight song was dumb when I learned it and it was  _ sooo much dumber  _ when I started singing it softly to Stellara, but she appeared to appreciate the moral support if the charming smile she wore was anything to go by. The howling picked up again and drowned out my song, so Stell stopped looking at the dandy-man and started paying attention to the danger-mutts again, the eyes having started moving in the shadows. My Partner dropped into a fighting stance and prepared herself for combat. Once the howling stopped in its totality, the skirmish was on.

The first creature came at her faster than I could follow, slowing down to make a lunge at Stell. She barely moved and its corpse impacted the ground a few feet away from where she was standing, no blood spilled or anything. At least, there wasn’t any on her blade. It took me a few seconds and another wolf-thing to realize that my Partner didn’t have the same vibe as before. Stellara was a warm, somewhat timid soul that needed to warm up to someone, but the woman in front of me? Cool and collected wasn’t the phrase for it. Stellara seemed to be doing what she was born to do, the grace of combat coming to her with practiced ease that I didn’t doubt had hurt to acquire. The reason I’d yet to see any blood fall hit me in the face like a brick; Stell was just striking  _ that fast. _ It took three lives for the creatures to realize that attacking one-by-one was stupid, but attacking in pairs did them no better. It was a swift and brutal affair after it started, and Stellara didn’t appear to be any worse for wear. What worried me the most about seeing her like… Well, seeing her  _ kill  _ so casually was a touch frightening, making me wonder about what all exactly she’d been trained to do. It would make sense for her to be a bodyguard of some kind since she was a ‘Partner’, but only then was I coming to understand what that had meant for her.

I exited the tent to stand next to my newfound guardian. It was hard to look at her, let alone see her as the same woman I’d just shared a bedroll with. Stellara Inova wasn’t… She wasn’t the person I’d just seen, at least not in my eyes. When I finally summoned the courage to meet her gaze, I saw a sadness in her that burned to see. “Nature sucks.” I tried a smile, but it came off as weak.

She returned it, failing similarly. “... You feel differently about our partnership, yes?”

I looked into her eyes, colored more by the red light than the blue. It didn’t take me long to answer, but it was a question I considered pretty hard. “Yeah. I do feel pretty different about it.”

Stellara nodded and sighed, acceptance in her posture. “Then I will return to Rusval at your command.”

With her head hung and her eyes half-closed, she didn’t see my flick coming. “Yo, knock it off.”

She rubbed her forehead and gave me a puzzled look. “I apologize, I-” I stretched out my hand, aiming my middle finger at her nose. “I am… Sorr-” I flicked her nose. “-REE!  _ Ow… _ ”

“I’m not sending you off, goofball. Stop pretending like I’d do that.”

Stellara rubbed her sniffer. “... You’re not? But… I… You just seemed so…?”

“Repulsed? Scared? Disgusted?”

“Well, more scared than anything, but also disgusted, yes.”

I was about to answer her when some bug bit my ankle. I rolled my eyes because dramatic moments like the one we were having can be ruined by the smallest thing and rubbed my leg with my foot to scratch the itch. “Scared? Yes. Disgusted? By the loss of life and the need for it. Not by you.”

Hope entered her expression. “You mean… You are not upset that I emasculated you?”

I was hoping that the red moon would start shining brighter at any second. “I… I really didn’t think about it like that.”

“Oh.”

“Um…”

“I-I-I mean, y-you could always… Start a fire?” She offered meekly. “That is a manly thing to do, is it not?”

I bit my lip and nodded. “That’s a great idea. Just need to know how now.”

“Ah. Um… Maybe you could...” Something bit my leg again so I lifted it to pat down the bite and didn’t feel a bump or anything. Stellara laid a finger on her lips, was just a really cute mannerism that I didn’t know I’d liked before then.

It was  _ so  _ hard to even be irked since she’d just saved my life via some  _ super dope  _ moves that I wanted to learn, thus I chose not to be and gave her a hug. “It’s fine, Stell. I wasn't’ exactly the manliest guy on Earth, so believe it or not I don’t have any hangups about being saved by the damsel.”

“W-Well… What if I were to be in distress?” She gave me a nervous smile.

I chuckled at the implication. “Don’t get yourself into trouble just so I can kinda-sorta save you, Stell. Let’s move camp and we’ll call it fair since, y’know, ya saved my life.”

Stellara smiled and gave me a surprise hug that wasn’t all that surprising. “Oh, I am so glad that my River Person is so kind! Thank you, Gatian!”

I hugged back, pretty disturbed about the implications she’d just laid out. It was clear that Partners had next to no rights in Avalesce, so I resolved to change that through my music. Once I figured out how to play something. And once I got my own instrument.  _ And _ once I garnered a following. After all that, I would happily try to change the way the somewhat backward world worked if anything then for my Partner and her quality of life, even if I wasn’t one-hundred percent sure that she was sane. After another quick assurance that I didn’t mind playing the gender role of the girl in the relationship, Stell and I packed up and moved camp fifty feet to the other side of the road, but unbeknownst to us at the time, we’d picked up a little tagalong and it wasn’t the fucking bug. Once we found another decent place to lay it down during the night, we talked about changing schedules when we got to Tidrel. We also started some innocent cuddling that got a little hectic when a small amount of light entered through the ‘door’ to the tent. Stell sat up before I did, but that’s because I had a heavy thing on me and I couldn’t get it off. Whatever it was, the thing was furry, slobbery, and friendlier than the town bicycle, so I patted its head a couple of times and didn’t panic because it wasn’t killing me.

_ Yet. _

Ah, just kidding, Booksy. Stellara peeled the thing off of me long enough for me to get a good look, and I wasn’t surprised to see a doggy-doge looking thing with its tongue hanging out of its mouth. Stell had it by its scruff and went for a knife before I said, “Woah, woah,  _ woah! _ Stell, you can’t be thinking of killing this one!” I whispered fiercely.

She froze, looking ashamed and unsure. “... It was attacking you, Gatian.”

“Am I bleeding?” I asked testily.

“... Not that I see?” The thing barked after she spoke, whapping her with its tail.

I looked at the dingy fur covering  _ his _ loins. “Well, if you don’t see it killing me, then let the little guy go, will you?”

She did as I asked hesitantly and the pup came back to me in the blink of an eye, propping itself up on my chest to get a better go at my face. Once it had gotten it’s affection out of its system, it turned to Stell and started all over again. My Partner was clearly uncomfortable and said as much. “Why is this creature licking me, Gatian? Is it’s saliva toxic?”

“On Earth, friendly animals lick you. It’s not tasting you, I promise.”

“... Why is this cassa friendly?”

“Probably because it’s lonely. Or it likes sexy people.”

Stellara tried pushing him away only to get flustered and start swatting him. “Stop! I am not your friend!”

“What if he’s a friend of mine?” I scratched his butt and he came back to me, laying on my legs.

“... Well, you  _ do  _ need a Companion…”

“Right? Let’s name him Felix!”

“... You want to name a wild animal.” Stellara said slowly.

“River People are weird, and so are you.” I looked at Felix, seeing a pretty happy pupper all things told. Its fur was a dirty tannish-brown that had obviously seen better days, but the little guy didn’t look like a common mutt or much like the other things that had attacked us. If I had to say, it probably  _ was _ a puppy without much killing instinct going for it or something of the sort.

“Are you planning on keeping this creature?” She asked cautiously.

“Well, what’s the harm?”

“Feeding it. Caring for it. Fixing it.”

“You know, for someone so nice, you’re being pretty cold about this.”

“I do not understand your infatuation with this creature.”

“I’m infatuated with you, do you need to understand that too?”

“I already understand it, Gatian. I am a woman and you are a man.”

“What if I liked boys?”

“Do not be greedy.” She said, unamused. The tone she’d taken was the most severe yet, though still mild. “It is custom for a man and a woman to pair. The same-sex may marry, but choosing multiple-”

“Choosing multiple spouses something-something greedy. Yeah, whatever.” I rolled my eyes. “I like the dog, I want the dog.”

“This thing will not bring you any luck. Cassas are opportunistic creatures at the best of times.”

“Like when it took the chance to rip my face off and eat it?”

“The creature did not do that. Do not be dramatic.”

“I wasn’t being dramatic, I was being sarcastic. Seriously, what’s your problem with a pet?”

“... Pet?”

I nodded. “Yeah, an animal you keep for companionship?”

“Only River People do that, and their Companions are handpicked for them.”

“Well, what if I want to pick my companion?”

“... Do you wish you could have picked a better Partner?”

“I wish I had one that would let me keep this little pupper.”

She gave me a look. “I will not help it.”

“Aren’t you sworn to do whatever I say or something anyway?”

“No? I am sworn to protect and care for you. Not look after your things.”

“Huh. Learn something new every day. Seriously, how can you say no to this adorable  _ widdle face?”  _ I picked up the pup and wiggled him in front of Stell, the pup letting me do as I pleased.

“How can you say  _ yes _ to it? They are food, not friends.”

“Well, maybe you’re food!”

“Yes, to them!”

Felix whined and started wiggling away from me over to Stellara. The Puppy Dog Eyes were in full effect, and I knew that I had to abuse them before her cold, cold heart stopped me having a pet altogether. “Oh come on, Stell! You can’t say no to a face like this!”

“I can and I have.” She huffed.

“Aren’t I supposed to be in charge here?”

“Yes, for the  _ adventure  _ and what may come after it. It is my sworn duty to protect you, and this creature is a literal cassa.”

‘

“Well, what if-”

“ _ Gatian _ .”

“ _ Ste~ell! _ ”

She gave me a look, snatched Felix by his scruff, then unceremoniously threw him out of the tent without a second’s hesitation. I stared at her and she looked back at me calmly. “That settles-” Felix came back in, tail wagging along.

We both looked at him as he yipped a couple of tips, looking back and forth between us. He settled on Stellara and started acting like the puppy he was all over again, probably thinking that it was a game. He lunged forth and bounced back a couple of times, nipping at Stell without actually coming very close to actually touching her. Her swats missed handily, which confused me a little. The disdain and, to be frank,  _ hatred _ on her face was evident once I started paying attention to her, and I’d already seen her fight. If she really wanted, Felix would have learned a valuable lesson after the first missed nip. I watched them for a little bit, seeing Stell grow more and more frustrated while my short foray into animal behavioral studies (Brazil was  _ great,  _ by the way.) pretty much told me that Felix was a ninety-percent goofball, nine-percent runt of the litter, and one percent innocent, which was more than enough for me. After a few more minutes of watching them, I came to sit next to Stell and earned myself a look of pure irritation.

Instead of forcing him on her, I decided to try to ease my new favorite pup into her heart by doing a little sum-sum I liked to call ‘schmoozing’. Gage had no game whatsoever, but Gatian was the guy who was born with a silver tongue and the charisma to use it. The problem was that I was still pretty new to being Gatian and hadn’t had much practice. That being said, the only thing I could do to keep the pup I took such a liking to? Try to make Stell see what I saw. My hand went to her shoulder the first time one of her swats actually landed on Felix, bowling him out of the tent all over again. The little guy had spirit and spunk in spades, meaning that he wasn’t one to let a little smack ruin his fun. Stell, however, grew visibly angrier when he came back. As empathetic as I tend to be, I could practically feel Stellara getting ready to grab Felix and make him regret being a free spirit, so I gripped her shoulder a little tighter and waited for her to stop paying attention to the nuisance.

When Stellara met my gaze, I gave her the warmest, kindest, and most gentle smile I could conjure up with all the ‘Cool, Compassionate Guy’ mojo that I had. It was enough to soften her gaze, but not to stop her from smacking the taste out of Felix’s mouth when he bit her. She flinched at his whimper and had a hard time looking at either myself or the cassa when he whined. The cassa poked its nose back into the tent and looked around for a moment, shaking tremendously. My heart broke for the poor little guy so I went over to him slowly. He bolted, to make a short story shorter, and I couldn’t stop the guilt in my chest from throbbing. Nor could I stop myself from glaring at Stellara.

“Fuckin’ seriously?”

She looked at the ground. “... It was a potential-”

“It was  _ playing with you. _ ”

“Well, I did not wish to play. It should-”

“Inova, that fucking cassa was a puppy, aka a  _ baby _ . If that thing is supposed to grow into a wolf-thing like the others, then I’d say it was barely a few months old. I understand that the pack of cassas was dangerous, but the  _ puppy  _ was  _ not.  _ A child just came to play with you and you  _ hit it. _ ”

I couldn’t see her face clearly since she let a glistening lock of her hair fall over her eyes. “We should sleep.”

I glared at her for a few more moments. “... Yeah. Guess we should.”

That was the end of the night's conversation, and Stellara’s turn of character was something I just couldn’t quite understand. Out of the thousands of people I’d met in my life, I would have pegged Stell as one of the top ten pet people in the list, but her interactions with Felix? Mostly appalling. Even my Dad who  _ hates  _ dogs probably wouldn't have reacted like she did. At least not to a puppy. I wasn’t upset over not getting a pet so much as Stellara having no compassion for the creature she’d likely just orphaned. It was almost as if she had no empathy whatsoever for a non-Human creature, which just didn’t sit well with me. Even as tired as I was, I couldn't sleep well next to someone who reminded me of Rachel. At least, not while I was trying to change myself.

After a long, sleepless couple of hours, I crawled outside the tent and sat down, hoping that Felix would come back. As it turned out, he was just on the other side of the tent, scared out of his wits, limping around. From what I could tell, he either had a broken or dislocated shoulder, neither of which would have surprised me. Having mostly worked with horses and other various equines during my few months in Brazil I had little to no clue how to patch the little fella up. I wasn’t sure if he could make it as he was and that just pissed me off to no end since he shouldn’t have gotten hurt in the first place. I beckoned him over with soothing sounds and gestures until he let me check his leg out. With next to no idea what I was doing since he was a canine, it took a sec for me to get my bearings with him and felt that his shoulder was just out of the socket. I was sure that I was about to get bitten for it, but I set his shoulder because it was the right thing to do, immediately being blinded by a flash of light.

The next thing I knew was that light hurt my eyes more than I thought it did. I knew that for sure. Something I was less certain of was what the hell just happened, so when I cleared the spots from my eyes I looked around for Felix. He was nowhere to be seen. Stellara was quite alarmed when she came out only to see that I was squinting, kneeling, and otherwise fine. Her first question was about my well-being and I wanted to spite her with my answer. It wasn’t in my heart since I was sure that our differences could be equated to a mix of culture-concerns and misunderstandings, so I told her the truth and downplayed the already insubstantial results. When she asked for a full explanation, I told her it involved Felix and explosions, which she assumed meant that he had passed gas on me and blinded me with pure [Hind-Energy], or ‘butt-ballistics’, as the Sotans apparently called them. Without a scent on the air, I highly doubted that it was ‘ _ butt-ballistics’ _ and summed it up to magic dog do magic dog thing. I was soundly assured that there were no such things as magic cassas or magic animals in Avalesce for the most part. There were a ferocious few that dwelled away from civilization, but they were supposed to be hard to find, traveling in small cells to avoid being hunted down by bloodthirsty  _ Pegasi, Naga, and  _ _ fucking _ _ Minotaurs _ . The Human races didn’t really do the hunting thing, but the Human _ oid _ races were all for it, apparently. As we talked, Stellara seemed to ease up and fall into a natural rhythm, probably helped along by my supportive attitude and willingness to let things go. I also wanted to learn more about the world around me and it wasn’t bad having a sweet-faced femme fatale learn me a thing gooder.

Dire wolves, bears, and sloths roamed most of the central continent freely under different names, but apparently, there were magical versions of each creature that were storied to live in stringent seclusion. There were only a couple that Stellara had ever heard of some surviving a sighting of, and one of them was called ‘Padfoot’. My Potter senses tingled and I had to ask if she was Sirius, to which she answered that she was. She didn’t know why the Padfoot had let someone live to tell the tale until I relayed Earth’s history of the creature to her. When Stell gave it a quick thought, she remembered that the explorer-guy had actually been eaten alive in his home shortly after finishing the description. That, in turn, was after a night at the tavern telling everyone who would listen that he’d seen a Magical Beast on Avalesch soil, which was truly how the story spread. That alone made me doubt the veracity of it, but then I doubted the validity of my doubt because I  _ was  _ on a different planet with different creatures. Hell, even Felix had some weird looking paws and eyes going on. His pupils had been shaped like a barbell with an especially thin handle and I’d found that odd at the time, but how unlikely was it  _ really  _ for animals from Avalesce to be so different from American fauna?

That thought scared me back into the tent where we found a fucking bright red lynx on my fucking pillow. I paused and Stellara did too. The cat stretched and looked at us. It meowed. _On my __fucking_ **_pillow._** I gave Mr. Shitty Kitty a dirty look and went over to move his ass, but he started screwing around with me. After having my hand batted a few times, I realized his claws weren’t out and he was just looking to play. Even with exhaustion setting in I couldn’t turn that adorable little face down, so I screwed with the pussy until I could grab it. Having it in my lap was better than having it where I lay my head and the little fella didn’t seem to mind the change in scenery. Stellara groaned when she saw that I wasn’t going to stop anytime soon, giving me a frustrated look.

“What is your fascination with dangerous animals?” She asked irritably.

I passed her a sharp look. “What’s with you and not liking animals?”

“We need to  _ sleep _ .”

I sighed and looked at the kitty. “Hear that, bud? She’s actually kinda right this time. Guess ya gotta go.”

“Aw.” He mewled.

The look I gave it was between astonished and skeptical, but Stellara confirmed my suspicions by saying, “You have  _ got  _ to be fooling me.”

I looked at her, then back to Felix. “Don’t tell me you talk, dude.”

“I can.” His voice sounded like a cat trying to talk, which made a lot of sense because  _ he was a cat trying to fucking talk. _

“... Were you the cassa too?”

“Yes.”

Stell and I traded a look. If it could have been captured and captioned it most likely would have said, ‘The mutual look of denial’, and I would have saved it to my phone as a reaction image. “It is a [damn]  _ ohsum! _ ”

“Yeah, he’s pretty awesome.” I nodded along, looking at the sentient creature I’d been treating like a good kitty for the past ten minutes.

“No,  _ ohsum _ .” Felix corrected.

“Don’t say much, do you?”

“No.” He mewled.

I looked at Stellara. “Can we keep him  _ now? _ ”

“Keep me?”

Stell glared at him. “Do not be useless.”

“Useless?”

“Yes. Be use _ ful _ .”

“... I dunno.” He licked his paw and rubbed his ear. In that order, of course.

“You ‘dunno’?” My Partner was already growing hotter under the collar.

“Uh… Why don’t you scout ahead of us from now on? We’ll be your friends and you’ll be ours.” I bargained reasonably.

Felix whacked me a couple of times. “I like friends.”

“So do we.” I grinned at him, a little happy to add another party member. Duos never did well in my experience, but three was always the magic number.

He kept whacking me. “Play?”

“Sleep.” Stell and I echoed.

“ _ Aw…  _ Okay.” He didn’t move, so I picked him up and put him between us.

With that, I had myself a Partner, a Companion, and a plan. It was looking pretty good from where I was laying, and if you disagree with that, then look at it this way; you’re a book. What does it matter?

No, wait, I’m sorry, Booksy! I didn’t mean it like that! Don’t go…

Ha! Can’t leave ‘cause you’re a book. Now I’m just wasting ink. Spilling my dirty, nasty ink on your virgin pages. How’s that feel,  _ Book!? _

Ah, it’s time to stop. Until next time, Booksy. Stay dry~


	5. Chapter Five: My Loyalty

Stell and I didn’t take long in getting to the nurse station and from there we were lead to a supply storage area. Ms. Inova herself started telling me about all the things she was actually trained to do, like the fact that she could fence and work a bow rather proficiently as well as manage a small business. She was quite the handywoman when it came to all sorts of things, her training reaching back to when she was still a teenager and including plenty of little helpful hints. She could teach me pretty much anything I needed to know about her particular weapons, but unfortunately for me, there was neither a rapier nor a bow in the Supply Room at Joad’s Hospital. Instead, Stellara got a pretty sketchy looking crossbow and I got a longsword that was probably supposed to be used with two hands by a Sotan. Neither of us wanted unreliable weapons, so we started our journey by finding a small shop to trade them in at for knives. Of course, there weren’t many places willing to take the crossbow but the sword was well-made enough to get us a piece or two of decent steel.

After we got our packs squared away and set our knives on our hips, Stellara and I went to the local ‘Authoritan’ station, having left the hospital with no goodbyes. Anyone I would’ve wanted to see had already gone home by the time Stellara and I found clothes suitable for me and my tastes, so it was a bit of a bittersweet non-goodbye. Alone enough with only my talkative Partner by my side, we made our way to the Authoritan station pretty quickly considering the number of places we passed that were reasonably spaced out. It wasn’t that Rusval was small, it was just that the place had obviously been built from the ground up by a very anal architect with a thing for symmetry and ease of access. There were straights and side roads that all made sense and had signs clearly labeled on pretty much every corner, and every building was clearly marked or labeled as exactly what it was. That being said, Stellara has no sense of direction and I pretty much got us there based on her own directions and  _ not  _ turning around for no reason.

The ‘Armators’ were intimidating, but ultimately nice enough people. Stellara got a few glares that were eased when I stood beside her, but the woman had a habit of starting off in random directions when we were being led to our first waiting room. Then we were led to different interrogation rooms where we were separated. I wasn’t worried about much since I didn’t think Stellara and I were guilty of anything, so when I met the Armatura in charge of the case that got us questioned in the first place, I answered his questions to the best of my abilities and had no problem convincing him I was just some guy who swam out of a river. After that, he was honestly just such a friggin’ peach. I do mean that in a conventional way, too. Armatura Clarik was actually a person I wanted to get to know, so I asked him a few questions as he asked me some more, but then he turned into a dick and left without getting me the caffeya he’d promised. I was lead to another waiting room shortly after that, but I was honestly just frustrated and annoyed that I’d been honey-potted for no reason.

Stellara was led back to the same waiting room but with cuffs on her wrists that had to be taken off. She breathed a sigh of relief that had all three men in the beige,  _ beige  _ room blushing furiously before giving me the wrong smile to match the sound she’d just made. I felt dirty and I wanted her to feel dirty, but there was good in me that I wanted to shine. There was also Gatian, so I smiled back and beckoned her over, garnering jealous glares from the Armators. Stellara tilted her head like she had no idea what was going on and came over anyway, sitting close beside me. One of the fellows clad in red ceramic armor warned us against any funny business, but the woman in the black armor snorted, cocked her gun, and bantered a little with the other dudes. They didn’t really say much to any effect, but the message was clear; I wasn’t to do anything close to fun with Stellara unless I wanted to pay for it.

After a good while, Clarik came around again and asked about our whereabouts again, so Stellara and I told him the truth, which cleared us of guilt/suspicion for the time being. He then apologized for being a dick and sent us off into the early morning with nothing but lost time to show for our efforts. Stellara was excited to get started on the journey again but my spirits weren’t nearly as high. I’d assumed that everyone in Rusval liked River People, but apparently, there just wasn’t enough ambient love to get us any free supplies or anything. However, Tidrel was supposed to basically worship people like me so my hopes raised as we made our way out of town. Walking through the streets was an eyeful, to say the least, and in the daylight, I could actually see what was going on with the town.

The architecture reminded me of old Brooklyn for some reason, and for another odder reason, it smelled like Seattle without the smell of coffee and condescension on the air. The vibe to Rusval was lively, but I noticed that for a decent-sized town there didn’t appear to be anything to do for recreation. Every shop we passed was utilitarian in one way or another, serving a practical/pragmatic purpose. I saw exactly two luxury item-type shops and one of them was a jeweler. The other was interesting, but without any money, there was no point in going inside. Other than those two places most buildings in Rusval were either plain brick and mortar or a drab stone, City Hall notwithstanding. Stellara suggested we go there to pick up supplies, but the Armators in front of the place wouldn’t let us go inside since I wasn’t a native and Stellara was just a Partner from a different province. I found that to be racist and annoying, but I didn’t let it get to me since there was nothing I could do for it save for walking away.

After a few more of Stellara’s ideas bombed and failed miserably I took over the decision making and got us out of the frigging city because it was turning out to suck. With my Partner’s mood on the fall, I tried singing a favorite song of mine to lighten the mood. Sapphire’s rendition of  _ Shiki No Uta _ needed music to go along with it in my opinion, but my efforts were appreciated by Stellara nonetheless. She asked me to sing something else while on the road to pass the time, attempting an old lullaby of her own. It was nice, but she forgot half the words while walking. Our journey had just started, so I tried to think of another song I was actually confident in singing for her and decided on one of my unknown gems.  _ Cliquot _ by Beirut was made for a serenade, though I had to change some of the lyrics to be less… Well,  _ gay _ , but saying that has such negative connotations. As it was, the song was sung by a man about his lover who is also a man, so a couple of pronoun adjustments were necessary in my mind. I was still sore from losing the friend I had in Valen ad was in no hurry to lose Stellara too, especially since she was the only person I was on speaking terms with at the moment. Honestly, Booksy, having to hide who I really was just… There’s not much more taxing than pretending to be someone you’re not, even if it’s not  _ that _ big a deal.

To go off on a little tangent since this is my journal and I’m allowed to do this, it sucked to not be able to find a little more common ground with Stellara, especially since a couple of the Armators we’d seen had been kinda cute in a ‘Man-in-Uniform’ type of way. Not being exactly who I was didn’t happen to be anything new, but I had the strangest feeling that Stellara would accept whatever I told her. The problem was that I didn't trust the feeling as far as I could throw it and was wary of being rejected yet again by another beautiful woman that deigned it worthy of her time to help me. Not that I have a gender-based inferiority complex (Though I probably do), I just had problems with women that were nice to me, as in I hated letting them down. It usually ended with more work or a tongue-lashing/regular beating from Rachel in the past, but Stellara was just different. I felt like everything had to be perfect or she would eventually just give up and go back to whatever lay in wait for her, compensation be damned. The self-doubt and fear of being alone were common to Gage, but Gatian hated the weakness within and smacked my brain around until I shook the thoughts clear and picked up the journey with another song.

About seven hours away from Rusval, Stellara and I stopped to make camp just off of the road, about twenty feet into some tall grass. We didn’t have the tools for a fire and we only had one tent, but it was big enough for both of us and the bedroll could also be shared. My main issue with the small space was that my Partner was a very handsy bedmate. To be honest, I kinda got off on being groped even if she didn’t know she was doing it, but it still made me feel some kind of wrong. The morality of letting myself being molested by someone having a rather interesting dream wasn’t lost on me, but I also couldn’t find the right option. On one hand, I could wake her up and get her to knock her crap off, but on the other, I could let her do what she wanted and hope she grabbed my sausage again. Gage and Gatian argued about it, but in the end, I’m a respectable guy or at least that’s what I’d like to think. I maneuvered myself out of her grasp and faced Stellara instead of letting her big-spoon my handsome self, but that didn’t solve my problems very well. Instead of having my front bits fondled, Stellara hugged me close and kept me in place. One arm lay under my head and the other arm led to a hand that was firmly gripping my buns a little tighter than I was comfortable with. It was at that time that I tried to poke Stellara awake, but the gal slept like a dead rock on the outskirts of the universe. There was no waking her with pansy tactics.

Since I was facing her (And a little kinky) I licked her ear and tried to bite it, only to have her nuzzle me. It was enough to make me not want to hurt her out of sheer adorableness, so I tried tickling her sides which only got her to giggle a little at first. It didn’t do me any good when I started and it didn’t help anymore when she stuck her hands down my pants. I might’ve been bi, but I’d  _ never  _ enjoyed being a bottom, nor did I like anyone poking around the man-donut, so I panicked and thought of something that would wake any woman up, guaranteed. Sadly, it must’ve only been for Earth women since my false RDJ sighting had no effect on Stellara. Her hand started reaching further and further, so I tried licking her face, pinching her breast, and when both of those failed, kissing her. It’s always the last thing you try that gets results, though I can’t say how I felt about what I got. On the one hand, it was a nice, warm kiss. On the other hand, all it needed was an odiferous baguette and a twenty-year-old bottle of chardonnay to be any French-er. Maybe an order of escargot to top it off.

When Stellara was done kissing me back, I had to scoot away from her and pant as if I’d just finished having someone suffocate me with a pillow. Speaking of pillows, Stell’s pillowy lips and even softer chest filled my mind with thoughts of public indecency and forest fun, though my lower head wasn’t at attention because it lacked the oxygen to think. The second brain doesn’t generally need that much to get the job done, it was just that Stellara had carried on until I was about to black-out. I hadn’t pulled away prior to the spots because I was still seeing how I felt about getting kissed by a half-asleep stunner, but Stellara solved that for me by asking a simple question that I didn’t answer.

‘ _ Were you dreaming of me as well?’ _

In the filtered light of the dual moons, each of their respective glows shone through and played on Stellara’s skin. I wasn’t sure if I was thankful for the sight or what, but I knew that such beauties were lost on so many people. The mild curiosity in her bleary eyes, the way the blue of the larger moon played with the reddish tint of the smaller, the way the light reflected off of her eyes, giving them such an otherworldly feel… I was in grave danger of leaping before I looked, knowing that I would come to regret making a decision while in the moment. Against my better judgment, I reached out and caressed her shoulder, just the two of us in our own private world. The tent was almost perfect for the mood, and I wouldn’t have rather been anywhere other than in front of my Partner. Especially when the howling started.

We’d slept with our knives under our one pillow so I accidentally grabbed Stellara’s. It didn’t matter because I didn’t even notice at the time, but either way, we were both up and ready to go in about ten seconds' time. The tent was large enough for us to both stand up and have a little leg room though space was the last thing on my mind. Part of me wanted to let the trained fighter handle everything, but Gatian and my inner White Knight told me to protect pretty lady, so protect I attempted. I didn’t even get to fully turn towards the ‘door’ before Stell used some freakish strength I never would have assumed she had to sit my ass down and make me stay put. She took her knife from me and gestured for me to stay quiet, so I did. More howling sounded closer than before. Whatever the creatures were, they didn’t quite sound like wolves or coyotes. The timbre was too dull for a coyote and too high to be a wolf, so neither made sense, and I wasn’t eager to find out what exactly was making the noise. I figured my time left alive was better spent looking at Stellara and her amazing ass, which made me feel better about my imminent demise. Then I thought about how I’d had the opportunity to tap that and had let it pass. Presto change-o, I had something to regret in my second set of final moments, but I didn’t get far into that specific type of despair because Stell decided to leave the tent and face whatever was coming at us.

I’d like to say I did the smart thing and stayed in the tent, but I’d also like to say that I did the dumb, brave thing (Because I actually did) and followed Stell out into the wilderness. The first thing that I noticed was that it had grown lighter than I’d thought, the light from the moons giving the forest an awesome glow that I totally wanted a picture of. Then I noticed that there were around a dozen sets of eyes peering at me through the undergrowth and darkness beyond the light and I just wanted to go home and get beaten by my wife. Ex-wife. I think it’s ‘Ex’ now, don’t you, J-Man? In any case, I didn’t get to be scared for much longer since Stellara shoved me back into the tent with force, making me like her a little less and love her a little more. I didn’t want to get eaten, but the fact that she was going to face our animal adversaries all on her own was pretty harrowing as well. I didn’t want to die and I also didn’t want Stellara to die alone. Without any training or superpowers, there was precious little I could do to help. The thought crossed my mind to sing a soothing song, but I wasn’t stupid. That kind of crap only works in fairytales and fantasy fics, and I was currently in neither. Or maybe I was? Shit, I didn’t know and I couldn’t pretend to, so I focused on the one thing I could and tried to think of a way for Stell and I to get out of the situation alive.

Well, maybe I  _ was  _ stupid because I certainly couldn’t think of anything that would save us both, or rather, kill one of us much less fast than the other. My Partner was the only one out of the two of us who could hope to get past the dog-things and she seemed pretty hell-bent on fighting, so I did what I could to back her up and sourced my earlier idea for inspiration. My high school's fight song was dumb when I learned it and it was  _ sooo much dumber  _ when I started singing it softly to Stellara, but she appeared to appreciate the moral support if the charming smile she wore was anything to go by. The howling picked up again and drowned out my song, so Stell stopped looking at the dandy-man and started paying attention to the danger-mutts again, the eyes having started moving in the shadows. My Partner dropped into a fighting stance and prepared herself for combat. Once the howling stopped in its totality, the skirmish was on.

The first creature came at her faster than I could follow, slowing down to make a lunge at Stell. She barely moved and its corpse impacted the ground a few feet away from where she was standing, no blood spilled or anything. At least, there wasn’t any on her blade. It took me a few seconds and another wolf-thing to realize that my Partner didn’t have the same vibe as before. Stellara was a warm, somewhat timid soul that needed to warm up to someone, but the woman in front of me? Cool and collected wasn’t the phrase for it. Stellara seemed to be doing what she was born to do, the grace of combat coming to her with practiced ease that I didn’t doubt had hurt to acquire. The reason I’d yet to see any blood fall hit me in the face like a brick; Stell was just striking  _ that fast. _ It took three lives for the creatures to realize that attacking one-by-one was stupid, but attacking in pairs did them no better. It was a swift and brutal affair after it started, and Stellara didn’t appear to be any worse for wear. What worried me the most about seeing her like… Well, seeing her  _ kill  _ so casually was a touch frightening, making me wonder about what all exactly she’d been trained to do. It would make sense for her to be a bodyguard of some kind since she was a ‘Partner’, but only then was I coming to understand what that had meant for her.

I exited the tent to stand next to my newfound guardian. It was hard to look at her, let alone see her as the same woman I’d just shared a bedroll with. Stellara Inova wasn’t… She wasn’t the person I’d just seen, at least not in my eyes. When I finally summoned the courage to meet her gaze, I saw a sadness in her that burned to see. “Nature sucks.” I tried a smile, but it came off as weak.

She returned it, failing similarly. “... You feel differently about our partnership, yes?”

I looked into her eyes, colored more by the red light than the blue. It didn’t take me long to answer, but it was a question I considered pretty hard. “Yeah. I do feel pretty different about it.”

Stellara nodded and sighed, acceptance in her posture. “Then I will return to Rusval at your command.”

With her head hung and her eyes half-closed, she didn’t see my flick coming. “Yo, knock it off.”

She rubbed her forehead and gave me a puzzled look. “I apologize, I-” I stretched out my hand, aiming my middle finger at her nose. “I am… Sorr-” I flicked her nose. “-REE!  _ Ow… _ ”

“I’m not sending you off, goofball. Stop pretending like I’d do that.”

Stellara rubbed her sniffer. “... You’re not? But… I… You just seemed so…?”

“Repulsed? Scared? Disgusted?”

“Well, more scared than anything, but also disgusted, yes.”

I was about to answer her when some bug bit my ankle. I rolled my eyes because dramatic moments like the one we were having can be ruined by the smallest thing and rubbed my leg with my foot to scratch the itch. “Scared? Yes. Disgusted? By the loss of life and the need for it. Not by you.”

Hope entered her expression. “You mean… You are not upset that I emasculated you?”

I was hoping that the red moon would start shining brighter at any second. “I… I really didn’t think about it like that.”

“Oh.”

“Um…”

“I-I-I mean, y-you could always… Start a fire?” She offered meekly. “That is a manly thing to do, is it not?”

I bit my lip and nodded. “That’s a great idea. Just need to know how now.”

“Ah. Um… Maybe you could...” Something bit my leg again so I lifted it to pat down the bite and didn’t feel a bump or anything. Stellara laid a finger on her lips, was just a really cute mannerism that I didn’t know I’d liked before then.

It was  _ so  _ hard to even be irked since she’d just saved my life via some  _ super dope  _ moves that I wanted to learn, thus I chose not to be and gave her a hug. “It’s fine, Stell. I wasn't’ exactly the manliest guy on Earth, so believe it or not I don’t have any hangups about being saved by the damsel.”

“W-Well… What if I were to be in distress?” She gave me a nervous smile.

I chuckled at the implication. “Don’t get yourself into trouble just so I can kinda-sorta save you, Stell. Let’s move camp and we’ll call it fair since, y’know, ya saved my life.”

Stellara smiled and gave me a surprise hug that wasn’t all that surprising. “Oh, I am so glad that my River Person is so kind! Thank you, Gatian!”

I hugged back, pretty disturbed about the implications she’d just laid out. It was clear that Partners had next to no rights in Avalesce, so I resolved to change that through my music. Once I figured out how to play something. And once I got my own instrument.  _ And _ once I garnered a following. After all that, I would happily try to change the way the somewhat backward world worked if anything then for my Partner and her quality of life, even if I wasn’t one-hundred percent sure that she was sane. After another quick assurance that I didn’t mind playing the gender role of the girl in the relationship, Stell and I packed up and moved camp fifty feet to the other side of the road, but unbeknownst to us at the time, we’d picked up a little tagalong and it wasn’t the fucking bug. Once we found another decent place to lay it down during the night, we talked about changing schedules when we got to Tidrel. We also started some innocent cuddling that got a little hectic when a small amount of light entered through the ‘door’ to the tent. Stell sat up before I did, but that’s because I had a heavy thing on me and I couldn’t get it off. Whatever it was, the thing was furry, slobbery, and friendlier than the town bicycle, so I patted its head a couple of times and didn’t panic because it wasn’t killing me.

_ Yet. _

Ah, just kidding, Booksy. Stellara peeled the thing off of me long enough for me to get a good look, and I wasn’t surprised to see a doggy-doge looking thing with its tongue hanging out of its mouth. Stell had it by its scruff and went for a knife before I said, “Woah, woah,  _ woah! _ Stell, you can’t be thinking of killing this one!” I whispered fiercely.

She froze, looking ashamed and unsure. “... It was attacking you, Gatian.”

“Am I bleeding?” I asked testily.

“... Not that I see?” The thing barked after she spoke, whapping her with its tail.

I looked at the dingy fur covering  _ his _ loins. “Well, if you don’t see it killing me, then let the little guy go, will you?”

She did as I asked hesitantly and the pup came back to me in the blink of an eye, propping itself up on my chest to get a better go at my face. Once it had gotten it’s affection out of its system, it turned to Stell and started all over again. My Partner was clearly uncomfortable and said as much. “Why is this creature licking me, Gatian? Is it’s saliva toxic?”

“On Earth, friendly animals lick you. It’s not tasting you, I promise.”

“... Why is this cassa friendly?”

“Probably because it’s lonely. Or it likes sexy people.”

Stellara tried pushing him away only to get flustered and start swatting him. “Stop! I am not your friend!”

“What if he’s a friend of mine?” I scratched his butt and he came back to me, laying on my legs.

“... Well, you  _ do  _ need a Companion…”

“Right? Let’s name him Felix!”

“... You want to name a wild animal.” Stellara said slowly.

“River People are weird, and so are you.” I looked at Felix, seeing a pretty happy pupper all things told. Its fur was a dirty tannish-brown that had obviously seen better days, but the little guy didn’t look like a common mutt or much like the other things that had attacked us. If I had to say, it probably  _ was _ a puppy without much killing instinct going for it or something of the sort.

“Are you planning on keeping this creature?” She asked cautiously.

“Well, what’s the harm?”

“Feeding it. Caring for it. Fixing it.”

“You know, for someone so nice, you’re being pretty cold about this.”

“I do not understand your infatuation with this creature.”

“I’m infatuated with you, do you need to understand that too?”

“I already understand it, Gatian. I am a woman and you are a man.”

“What if I liked boys?”

“Do not be greedy.” She said, unamused. The tone she’d taken was the most severe yet, though still mild. “It is custom for a man and a woman to pair. The same-sex may marry, but choosing multiple-”

“Choosing multiple spouses something-something greedy. Yeah, whatever.” I rolled my eyes. “I like the dog, I want the dog.”

“This thing will not bring you any luck. Cassas are opportunistic creatures at the best of times.”

“Like when it took the chance to rip my face off and eat it?”

“The creature did not do that. Do not be dramatic.”

“I wasn’t being dramatic, I was being sarcastic. Seriously, what’s your problem with a pet?”

“... Pet?”

I nodded. “Yeah, an animal you keep for companionship?”

“Only River People do that, and their Companions are handpicked for them.”

“Well, what if I want to pick my companion?”

“... Do you wish you could have picked a better Partner?”

“I wish I had one that would let me keep this little pupper.”

She gave me a look. “I will not help it.”

“Aren’t you sworn to do whatever I say or something anyway?”

“No? I am sworn to protect and care for you. Not look after your things.”

“Huh. Learn something new every day. Seriously, how can you say no to this adorable  _ widdle face?”  _ I picked up the pup and wiggled him in front of Stell, the pup letting me do as I pleased.

“How can you say  _ yes _ to it? They are food, not friends.”

“Well, maybe you’re food!”

“Yes, to them!”

Felix whined and started wiggling away from me over to Stellara. The Puppy Dog Eyes were in full effect, and I knew that I had to abuse them before her cold, cold heart stopped me having a pet altogether. “Oh come on, Stell! You can’t say no to a face like this!”

“I can and I have.” She huffed.

“Aren’t I supposed to be in charge here?”

“Yes, for the  _ adventure  _ and what may come after it. It is my sworn duty to protect you, and this creature is a literal cassa.”

‘

“Well, what if-”

“ _ Gatian _ .”

“ _ Ste~ell! _ ”

She gave me a look, snatched Felix by his scruff, then unceremoniously threw him out of the tent without a second’s hesitation. I stared at her and she looked back at me calmly. “That settles-” Felix came back in, tail wagging along.

We both looked at him as he yipped a couple of tips, looking back and forth between us. He settled on Stellara and started acting like the puppy he was all over again, probably thinking that it was a game. He lunged forth and bounced back a couple of times, nipping at Stell without actually coming very close to actually touching her. Her swats missed handily, which confused me a little. The disdain and, to be frank,  _ hatred _ on her face was evident once I started paying attention to her, and I’d already seen her fight. If she really wanted, Felix would have learned a valuable lesson after the first missed nip. I watched them for a little bit, seeing Stell grow more and more frustrated while my short foray into animal behavioral studies (Brazil was  _ great,  _ by the way.) pretty much told me that Felix was a ninety-percent goofball, nine-percent runt of the litter, and one percent innocent, which was more than enough for me. After a few more minutes of watching them, I came to sit next to Stell and earned myself a look of pure irritation.

Instead of forcing him on her, I decided to try to ease my new favorite pup into her heart by doing a little sum-sum I liked to call ‘schmoozing’. Gage had no game whatsoever, but Gatian was the guy who was born with a silver tongue and the charisma to use it. The problem was that I was still pretty new to being Gatian and hadn’t had much practice. That being said, the only thing I could do to keep the pup I took such a liking to? Try to make Stell see what I saw. My hand went to her shoulder the first time one of her swats actually landed on Felix, bowling him out of the tent all over again. The little guy had spirit and spunk in spades, meaning that he wasn’t one to let a little smack ruin his fun. Stell, however, grew visibly angrier when he came back. As empathetic as I tend to be, I could practically feel Stellara getting ready to grab Felix and make him regret being a free spirit, so I gripped her shoulder a little tighter and waited for her to stop paying attention to the nuisance.

When Stellara met my gaze, I gave her the warmest, kindest, and most gentle smile I could conjure up with all the ‘Cool, Compassionate Guy’ mojo that I had. It was enough to soften her gaze, but not to stop her from smacking the taste out of Felix’s mouth when he bit her. She flinched at his whimper and had a hard time looking at either myself or the cassa when he whined. The cassa poked its nose back into the tent and looked around for a moment, shaking tremendously. My heart broke for the poor little guy so I went over to him slowly. He bolted, to make a short story shorter, and I couldn’t stop the guilt in my chest from throbbing. Nor could I stop myself from glaring at Stellara.

“Fuckin’ seriously?”

She looked at the ground. “... It was a potential-”

“It was  _ playing with you. _ ”

“Well, I did not wish to play. It should-”

“Inova, that fucking cassa was a puppy, aka a  _ baby _ . If that thing is supposed to grow into a wolf-thing like the others, then I’d say it was barely a few months old. I understand that the pack of cassas was dangerous, but the  _ puppy  _ was  _ not.  _ A child just came to play with you and you  _ hit it. _ ”

I couldn’t see her face clearly since she let a glistening lock of her hair fall over her eyes. “We should sleep.”

I glared at her for a few more moments. “... Yeah. Guess we should.”

That was the end of the night's conversation, and Stellara’s turn of character was something I just couldn’t quite understand. Out of the thousands of people I’d met in my life, I would have pegged Stell as one of the top ten pet people in the list, but her interactions with Felix? Mostly appalling. Even my Dad who  _ hates  _ dogs probably wouldn't have reacted like she did. At least not to a puppy. I wasn’t upset over not getting a pet so much as Stellara having no compassion for the creature she’d likely just orphaned. It was almost as if she had no empathy whatsoever for a non-Human creature, which just didn’t sit well with me. Even as tired as I was, I couldn't sleep well next to someone who reminded me of Rachel. At least, not while I was trying to change myself.

After a long, sleepless couple of hours, I crawled outside the tent and sat down, hoping that Felix would come back. As it turned out, he was just on the other side of the tent, scared out of his wits, limping around. From what I could tell, he either had a broken or dislocated shoulder, neither of which would have surprised me. Having mostly worked with horses and other various equines during my few months in Brazil I had little to no clue how to patch the little fella up. I wasn’t sure if he could make it as he was and that just pissed me off to no end since he shouldn’t have gotten hurt in the first place. I beckoned him over with soothing sounds and gestures until he let me check his leg out. With next to no idea what I was doing since he was a canine, it took a sec for me to get my bearings with him and felt that his shoulder was just out of the socket. I was sure that I was about to get bitten for it, but I set his shoulder because it was the right thing to do, immediately being blinded by a flash of light.

The next thing I knew was that light hurt my eyes more than I thought it did. I knew that for sure. Something I was less certain of was what the hell just happened, so when I cleared the spots from my eyes I looked around for Felix. He was nowhere to be seen. Stellara was quite alarmed when she came out only to see that I was squinting, kneeling, and otherwise fine. Her first question was about my well-being and I wanted to spite her with my answer. It wasn’t in my heart since I was sure that our differences could be equated to a mix of culture-concerns and misunderstandings, so I told her the truth and downplayed the already insubstantial results. When she asked for a full explanation, I told her it involved Felix and explosions, which she assumed meant that he had passed gas on me and blinded me with pure [Hind-Energy], or ‘butt-ballistics’, as the Sotans apparently called them. Without a scent on the air, I highly doubted that it was ‘ _ butt-ballistics’ _ and summed it up to magic dog do magic dog thing. I was soundly assured that there were no such things as magic cassas or magic animals in Avalesce for the most part. There were a ferocious few that dwelled away from civilization, but they were supposed to be hard to find, traveling in small cells to avoid being hunted down by bloodthirsty  _ Pegasi, Naga, and  _ _ fucking _ _ Minotaurs _ . The Human races didn’t really do the hunting thing, but the Human _ oid _ races were all for it, apparently. As we talked, Stellara seemed to ease up and fall into a natural rhythm, probably helped along by my supportive attitude and willingness to let things go. I also wanted to learn more about the world around me and it wasn’t bad having a sweet-faced femme fatale learn me a thing gooder.

Dire wolves, bears, and sloths roamed most of the central continent freely under different names, but apparently, there were magical versions of each creature that were storied to live in stringent seclusion. There were only a couple that Stellara had ever heard of some surviving a sighting of, and one of them was called ‘Padfoot’. My Potter senses tingled and I had to ask if she was Sirius, to which she answered that she was. She didn’t know why the Padfoot had let someone live to tell the tale until I relayed Earth’s history of the creature to her. When Stell gave it a quick thought, she remembered that the explorer-guy had actually been eaten alive in his home shortly after finishing the description. That, in turn, was after a night at the tavern telling everyone who would listen that he’d seen a Magical Beast on Avalesch soil, which was truly how the story spread. That alone made me doubt the veracity of it, but then I doubted the validity of my doubt because I  _ was  _ on a different planet with different creatures. Hell, even Felix had some weird looking paws and eyes going on. His pupils had been shaped like a barbell with an especially thin handle and I’d found that odd at the time, but how unlikely was it  _ really  _ for animals from Avalesce to be so different from American fauna?

That thought scared me back into the tent where we found a fucking bright red lynx on my fucking pillow. I paused and Stellara did too. The cat stretched and looked at us. It meowed. _On my __fucking_ **_pillow._** I gave Mr. Shitty Kitty a dirty look and went over to move his ass, but he started screwing around with me. After having my hand batted a few times, I realized his claws weren’t out and he was just looking to play. Even with exhaustion setting in I couldn’t turn that adorable little face down, so I screwed with the pussy until I could grab it. Having it in my lap was better than having it where I lay my head and the little fella didn’t seem to mind the change in scenery. Stellara groaned when she saw that I wasn’t going to stop anytime soon, giving me a frustrated look.

“What is your fascination with dangerous animals?” She asked irritably.

I passed her a sharp look. “What’s with you and not liking animals?”

“We need to  _ sleep _ .”

I sighed and looked at the kitty. “Hear that, bud? She’s actually kinda right this time. Guess ya gotta go.”

“Aw.” He mewled.

The look I gave it was between astonished and skeptical, but Stellara confirmed my suspicions by saying, “You have  _ got  _ to be fooling me.”

I looked at her, then back to Felix. “Don’t tell me you talk, dude.”

“I can.” His voice sounded like a cat trying to talk, which made a lot of sense because  _ he was a cat trying to fucking talk. _

“... Were you the cassa too?”

“Yes.”

Stell and I traded a look. If it could have been captured and captioned it most likely would have said, ‘The mutual look of denial’, and I would have saved it to my phone as a reaction image. “It is a [damn]  _ ohsum! _ ”

“Yeah, he’s pretty awesome.” I nodded along, looking at the sentient creature I’d been treating like a good kitty for the past ten minutes.

“No,  _ ohsum _ .” Felix corrected.

“Don’t say much, do you?”

“No.” He mewled.

I looked at Stellara. “Can we keep him  _ now? _ ”

“Keep me?”

Stell glared at him. “Do not be useless.”

“Useless?”

“Yes. Be use _ ful _ .”

“... I dunno.” He licked his paw and rubbed his ear. In that order, of course.

“You ‘dunno’?” My Partner was already growing hotter under the collar.

“Uh… Why don’t you scout ahead of us from now on? We’ll be your friends and you’ll be ours.” I bargained reasonably.

Felix whacked me a couple of times. “I like friends.”

“So do we.” I grinned at him, a little happy to add another party member. Duos never did well in my experience, but three was always the magic number.

He kept whacking me. “Play?”

“Sleep.” Stell and I echoed.

“ _ Aw…  _ Okay.” He didn’t move, so I picked him up and put him between us.

With that, I had myself a Partner, a Companion, and a plan. It was looking pretty good from where I was laying, and if you disagree with that, then look at it this way; you’re a book. What does it matter?

No, wait, I’m sorry, Booksy! I didn’t mean it like that! Don’t go…

Ha! Can’t leave ‘cause you’re a book. Now I’m just wasting ink. Spilling my dirty, nasty ink on your virgin pages. How’s that feel,  _ Book!? _

Ah, it’s time to stop. Until next time, Booksy. Stay dry~


End file.
